1.
"You didn't wash your hands before you left the bathroom."
2.
"I know you felt kind of happy that Jen looked terrible in her dress and you looked hot."
3.
"We saw you double-dipping at the snack table."
4.
"You forgot your best friend's birthday until Facebook reminded you."
5.
"Yeah...don't try to tell me you don't pee in the shower."
6.
"I know all of your shame-lusts. ALL OF THEM."
7.
"That joke you made earlier actually came from Tumblr, but everyone laughed so hard you decided to take credit for it."
8.
"Riiiiiiight, right. You 'don't think poop is funny.' Mhmm, sure."
9.
"Honestly I'm not shocked this is the third time you've worn those socks without washing them."
10.
"You pick your nose. On a regular basis."
11.
"You don't have to pretend around me. I know you like Justin Bieber's music."
12.
"Heh, heh. You still have to turn every light on to walk to the bathroom at night."
13.
"I watched you hang back so you could grab an extra donut."
14.
"Oh, you didn't clog the office toilet and then leave it? I smell a liar, among other things."
15.
"You pretend to know all the words to 'Lose Yourself' when it comes on."
16.
"You haven't changed your sheets in six months."
17.
"For you it's more like the 'Five Seconds Unless Nobody Sees Because Then I'll Definitely Eat It Rule.'"
18.
"You only pretend that you don't like the word 'moist', but you don't feel it like the rest of us."
19.
"You spent four hours last night stalking your crush on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube, Google AND Google+."
20.
"It took you 82 tries to get that selfie you posted."
21.
"Come on. You like the smell of your own farts."
