1. You can anticipate the judges’ score within a tenth of a point.
And you can itemize the deductions.
2. You watch every program from each skater.
With a coffee in hand, you could watch for HOURS.
3. Figure skating has begun to bleed into your other hobbies.
4. You know the difference between an “axel” and a “butterfly.”
And you can spot when one is perfectly executed.
5. You own a priceless piece of figure-skating history.
6. You begin to see figure skating everywhere you go.
(Psst — it’s in the reflection!)
7. Even though this girl handles it well, you are angry on her behalf.
WHY IS THERE A BOAT ON THE ICE?
8. You know that this is impossible.
At least, you’re pretty sure this is impossible.
9. You don’t watch a movie until it comes out “on ice.”
10. You don’t trust any sports that don’t involve glitter.
WHAT ARE THEY HIDING UNDER THE LACK OF MAKEUP, HMM?