13 Signs You Are Obsessed With Figure Skating

This time of year, figure skating finally gets its spotlight. Fuel all your passions with Dunkin’ Donuts.

1. You can anticipate the judges’ score within a tenth of a point.

And you can itemize the deductions.

2. You watch every program from each skater.

Jaclyn Stevenson (CC BY 2.0), photo altered and animated / Via Flickr: writerjax

With a coffee in hand, you could watch for HOURS.

3. Figure skating has begun to bleed into your other hobbies.

Kenny Louie / CC BY 2.0 / Via Flickr: kwl

4. You know the difference between an “axel” and a “butterfly.”

And you can spot when one is perfectly executed.

5. You own a priceless piece of figure-skating history.

Cliff (CC BY 2.0) / Via Flickr: nostri-imago

Or several.

6. You begin to see figure skating everywhere you go.

(Psst — it’s in the reflection!)

7. Even though this girl handles it well, you are angry on her behalf.

WHY IS THERE A BOAT ON THE ICE?

8. You know that this is impossible.

At least, you’re pretty sure this is impossible.

9. You don’t watch a movie until it comes out “on ice.”

Jenn Durfey (CC BY 2.0) / Via Flickr: dottiemae

10. You don’t trust any sports that don’t involve glitter.

WHAT ARE THEY HIDING UNDER THE LACK OF MAKEUP, HMM?

11. You resent amateurs cutting through the sacred middle space of a public rink.

12. You’re the same thing for Halloween every year.

NawtyFox / amazon.com

NawtyFox / amazon.com

Nawty Fox / amazon.com

 

13. You can pronounce “salchow.”

Correctly.

America runs — and skates — on Dunkin’.

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