Would These "Walking Dead" Cast Members Really Survive?

The zombie apocalypse seems to be playing favorites.

1. Should Rick Grimes be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   HAHahahahahHAHAHAHAHahaha. But seriously, no. This man should not have survived the first episode — where he manages to not arm himself despite walking past an abandoned military outpost and starts screaming his lungs out attracting every walker in the tri-state area before wandering into a city clearly infested as seen by the sea of abandoned cars leading out of Atlanta — much less risen to the rank of leader.

   

1. Should Carl Grimes be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Like father, like son. If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's this kid should — by all accounts — be dead. Whether from the shot he took to the stomach or his blind refusal to accept you can't be wandering away from the group in the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse and then be surprised to find it's full of zombies.

   

1. Should Daryl Dixon be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Look we all know Daryl is a bad ass but unless you're a popular protagonist in a zombie survival show, you aren't going to plummet off a cliff only to wake up just in time to keep the zombie from gnawing off your feet, much less be lucky enough to survive when fellow survivor mistakes you for a walker and misses her shot for the first time ever.

   

1. Should Carol Peletier be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Carol is the lucky survivor. The one who manages to scrape by with the help of others until she levels up into a bad ass that practices Caesarean sections on dead walkers and teaches children how to use knives in a safe and deadly manner. In a different group she'd be long dead, but thanks to Andrea and Daryl, Carol is now well-equipped to take on anything with little to no remorse.

   

1. Should Hershel Greene be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Sorry folks but Zombie Apocalypse Santa should be re-animated fodder. Actively capturing zombies in hope of a "catch-and-release" program was bad enough but for crying out loud, he was bitten by a walker. But somehow amputating the limb kept him from turning because reasons. As if being a one-legged man in a survival situation that requires running isn't just a drawn-out death sentence on its own. How many Christmas miracles does Hershel get you think?

   

1. Should Maggie Green be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   It might not make for "gripping television" but Maggie's willingness to change tactics depending on the situation in order to survive, make hard choices about both walkers and fellow humans, and just plain avoid stupid scenarios that other characters would wade into like pigs in mud is enough to keep her alive and well.

   

1. Should Glenn Rhee be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   You can only use a schmuck as bait so many times before it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Glenn should have died during the rainstorm that washed off the zombie scent, or when they lowered him into a narrow well to lasso a walker, or when he froze up during the firefight, or when he was tied to a chair to be zombie chow, or...well you get the idea.

   

1. Should Beth Green be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Whether it's because baby Judith has magic anti-walker platelets or because Beth has the sense she was born with, the youngest Greene girl has a penchant for running and hiding instead of fighting and dying. After all, heroes have a very short life expectancy in a zombie apocalypse.

   

1. Should Michonne be alive?

   

    Yes

   Yes

    No

   No

   Correct! 

   Wrong! 

   Anyone who cuts the arms and lower jaws off zombies to use as pets, casually murders experimental walkers with a smirk on her face, and will kill a hermit to toss his body to the undead as a diversion is going to be just fine.