1.
Lock your doors and invest in an alarm system.
3.
Everyone sucks when they first try something.
4.
Friendships take time and effort.
5.
Buy a fire extinguisher.
6.
Everyone goes through an awkward stage.
7.
Don't laugh when people say they've been abducted by aliens.
9.
Don't let anyone hold you back.
10.
Always dance like no one's watching.
11.
Some people are just not meant to be parents.
12.
Cynicism is inevitable.
13.
Always know where the bathroom is.
14.
Everyone has a different idea of fun.
15.
When in doubt, hit it with a hammer until it works.
16.
Sometimes you just gotta be naked.
17.
Everybody hates and/or fear clowns.
18.
Our entire lives are about working to buy stuff.
19.
You can't cheat death.
20.
If you're lucky, you'll go out like a bad ass.
21.
Cultivating a romance takes time and effort.
23.
Time slips away from us.
