2. Oh hell no. I did not get this dressed up to go home early. Everyone needs to bask in my magnificence.
3. Not prepared? Bitch please, my outfit can go from professional to par-tay in .5 seconds.
4. Who needs Apple Bottom jeans when you got natural Pom-Pom bottom am I right?
5. Awwww yesssss, the DJ just dropped the bass.
6. Hey pretty lady, you want to dance? No? No. That’s cool.
7. Hey gurl, you like what I’m working with?
8. I’m always wearin’ a bow tie in da club. Bow ties are cool.
9. Oh you did not just call me fat.
10. Why yes, I am popped collar cool.
11. Awwww yeah, this song is my jam!
12. Dancing by myself because I want to. It’s empowering, dammit.
13. Are these tail feathers on my head, or am I just happy to see you?
Both. The answer is both.
14. You like Batman? Gurl, I am the night.
15. I’m not drunk, I’m not drunk. Hruk! Okay, call the cab.
Here Are The Top Stories
- Greece voted "no" on sweeping new austerity measures tied to further bailout funds. Its future in the eurozone is uncertain, and its creditors are unimpressed.
- The U.S. faces Japan in Vancouver in the final match of the FIFA Women's World Cup. The Americans scored 4 goals in the first 15 minutes of the game ⚽️
- Captured New York prison escapee David Sweat has been released from hospital and is back in jail.