2. Oh hell no. I did not get this dressed up to go home early. Everyone needs to bask in my magnificence.
3. Not prepared? Bitch please, my outfit can go from professional to par-tay in .5 seconds.
4. Who needs Apple Bottom jeans when you got natural Pom-Pom bottom am I right?
5. Awwww yesssss, the DJ just dropped the bass.
6. Hey pretty lady, you want to dance? No? No. That’s cool.
7. Hey gurl, you like what I’m working with?
8. I’m always wearin’ a bow tie in da club. Bow ties are cool.
9. Oh you did not just call me fat.
10. Why yes, I am popped collar cool.
11. Awwww yeah, this song is my jam!
12. Dancing by myself because I want to. It’s empowering, dammit.
13. Are these tail feathers on my head, or am I just happy to see you?
Both. The answer is both.
14. You like Batman? Gurl, I am the night.
15. I’m not drunk, I’m not drunk. Hruk! Okay, call the cab.
Here Are Today's Top Stories
- [A Harris County, Texas, sheriff's deputy was ambushed Friday night when a man walked up and repeatedly shot him from behind. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/sheriffs-deputy-shot-dead-in-ambush-at-texas-gas-station)
- [Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said that Tropical Storm Erika killed 20 people there, and set the island back 20 years from the damage. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/at-least-5-people-are-missing-after-tropical-storm-erika-thr)
- [Police are investigating the death of Jamycheal Mitchell, who was arrested months ago in Virginia for allegedly stealing about $5 worth of groceries. He was found dead in his jail cell last week. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/black-man-held-for-months-for-stealing-5-worth-of-snacks-fou)