2. Oh hell no. I did not get this dressed up to go home early. Everyone needs to bask in my magnificence.
3. Not prepared? Bitch please, my outfit can go from professional to par-tay in .5 seconds.
4. Who needs Apple Bottom jeans when you got natural Pom-Pom bottom am I right?
5. Awwww yesssss, the DJ just dropped the bass.
6. Hey pretty lady, you want to dance? No? No. That’s cool.
7. Hey gurl, you like what I’m working with?
8. I’m always wearin’ a bow tie in da club. Bow ties are cool.
9. Oh you did not just call me fat.
10. Why yes, I am popped collar cool.
11. Awwww yeah, this song is my jam!
12. Dancing by myself because I want to. It’s empowering, dammit.
13. Are these tail feathers on my head, or am I just happy to see you?
Both. The answer is both.
14. You like Batman? Gurl, I am the night.
15. I’m not drunk, I’m not drunk. Hruk! Okay, call the cab.
Here Are The Top Stories
- Migrant deaths in the Mediterranean have exceeded 2,000, making 2015 the deadliest year for people trying to reach Europe, according to the International Organization for Migration.
- At least 24 homes have been lost and one firefighter killed as dozens of wildfires continue to ravage drought-stricken California.
- Three major U.S. airlines — Delta, American, and United — have banned the transport of big game trophies after the illegal killing of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe.