2. Oh hell no. I did not get this dressed up to go home early. Everyone needs to bask in my magnificence.
3. Not prepared? Bitch please, my outfit can go from professional to par-tay in .5 seconds.
4. Who needs Apple Bottom jeans when you got natural Pom-Pom bottom am I right?
5. Awwww yesssss, the DJ just dropped the bass.
6. Hey pretty lady, you want to dance? No? No. That’s cool.
7. Hey gurl, you like what I’m working with?
8. I’m always wearin’ a bow tie in da club. Bow ties are cool.
9. Oh you did not just call me fat.
10. Why yes, I am popped collar cool.
11. Awwww yeah, this song is my jam!
12. Dancing by myself because I want to. It’s empowering, dammit.
13. Are these tail feathers on my head, or am I just happy to see you?
Both. The answer is both.
14. You like Batman? Gurl, I am the night.
15. I’m not drunk, I’m not drunk. Hruk! Okay, call the cab.
In The News Today
- The Dutch Safety Board has released a final report of its investigation into why Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17 broke up over Ukraine in 2014. ›
- Iran's parliament approved a deal on its nuclear program, which was agreed in July following lengthy talks between six world powers. ›
- SAB Miller has accepted "in principle" a takeover offer from Anheuser-Busch InBev, which would create the world's largest beer company. ›