1.
You are a pirate, a gentleman...a Pirate Gentleman Confederate General.
2.
You are America's most successful 12-year-old.
7.
"You know what goes really well with white bread, rice, and spaghetti?"
8.
You weren't quick enough to get OMGWTFs 1–6.
9.
Your vehicle... You seem to have misplaced it.
10.
Can somebody say "existential crisis"?
11.
You believe that beans are the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more artistically inclined you tend to become.
12.
"My other car is a telephone booth!"
13.
"My other car is a convent!"
14.
You're that dad who "doesn't have to explain himself to you" because you're the kid and he's the dad.
15.
You're a poet, didn't you know it?
16.
Clearly a proctologist.
17.
You like to give advice to young men on Manifest Destiny and self-maintenance.
Whatever you want to say, make it a statement with your Dodge Challenger.
