1. Dirty dishes are a perpetual part of your existence.
Nothing “needs to soak” for four days, guys.
2. You find the appliance you bought three months ago and never used is mysteriously broken.
3. Apparently there are different definitions of “taking out the garbage.”
You get no points for taking the bag out of the can. You have to actually remove it from the entire apartment.
5. And it turns out that washing dishes is a learned skill.
One nobody ever taught your roommates. (Pro tip: If there is still food on the plate, TRY AGAIN.)
6. The microwave does not clean itself. I repeat: The microwave does not clean itself.
9. And the dishtowel you used to wipe raw chicken off the counter.
Let’s just put it this way: Nothing cleans itself. Okay?
10. There’s a deep layer of rotten food in your fridge and nobody will take responsibility for it.
11. Your roommates’ inability to recycle makes you fear for the future of the planet.
12. You finally go to the supermarket, only to find out that there is no room for any of your groceries.
On the bright side, though, you guys are super prepared for Armageddon.
13. You spend all day looking forward to your last ice cream sandwich, only to discover it’s not there.
14. Your roommates eat your awesome snacks and then offer their totally non-awesome ones in return.
I don’t want your stupid baby carrots. I want MY DORITOS.