1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Pints
Sometimes you just want more than a “cup”.
2. Bloody Mary-infused celery
The vodka and tomato juice are IN the celery.
You wouldn’t have to worry about it rolling off the table.
4. Forever-Warm Cookies
Engineered to always be warm and chewy as if they just came out of the oven. How do they always stay above room temperature? Don’t worry about it! Science.
Somehow this would get squished less easily. Although it would be much harder to peel.
6. Bagnut (or Dogel)
For when you can’t decide.
7. High-Fructose Corn Syrup Soda
You’d be forced to face the truth of what you’re drinking.
8. Blue pepper
Just to know what that would taste like.
The bounty of the oak tree popped, buttered, and salted to be enjoyed at the movies. If it sucks, all the squirrels are guaranteed to love it.
10. Pancake Orb
When mankind realized the Earth was round and not flat, we should have reflected this knowledge in pancakes. The time is now.
11. Borscht Bear
Because the food of Russia should be in a container that reflects its animal mascot.
12. Meat-filled Swiss Cheese
Would save a lot of time making sandwiches.
13. Bath Saltines
This is a terrible idea.
- The CIA has officially—but very quietly—admitted that some allegations about its torture program were true.
- The U.S. government is suing Ferguson, Missouri, after the city tried to change a negotiated police reform settlement.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race after poor results in New Hampshire 🇺🇸