17. Super Twin Cherry Popsicle
No cream, no chocolate, no fun. And two popsicle sticks? Wasteful. Also, awkward.
16. Chocolate Eclair Bar
Somehow, the magical combination that is chocolate and peanuts falls short. Meh, NEXT!
15. Orange Creamsicle
Props for trying to liven up boring popsicle with some ice cream, but, oranges and cream? No, thanks.
But, whoever invented the screwball obviously failed to realize that when a gumball is stored in the freezer indefinitely, it turns into something that is NO LONGER A GUMBALL, but rather a rock hard orb of sugar that, even when thawed, is NO LONGER A GUMBALL.
13. Super Mario Bar
See “Screwball.” Extra points for the artful presentation.
12. Firecracker Popsicle
Not great. But still, three flavors in one rocket. How do they even do it?!? And, obviously, very patriotic.
In an unexpected twist, chocolate flavored ice actually tastes alright.
10. Ice Cream Chipwich
In theory, these are excellent. In reality, the cookies get soggy, and that is not okay.
9. Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich
The problem: they forgot to put big chunks of oreo in the ice cream filling. Mistake.
8. King Cone
WIN. Best part? The giant hunk of chocolate at the bottom.
7. Drumstick Sundae Cone
Classic excellence of the king cone, injected with chocolate, then covered with even more chocolate.
6. Klondike Bar
Artificially flavored vanilla ice cream and chocolate flavored coating. Shouldn’t be so good, buuuuuut…. What wouldn’t you do for a Klondike Bar?
5. Toasted Almond Bar
Somehow, this almond-coated bar is just more… sophisticated, than its peanut covered friends. Also, delicious.
4. Candy Center Crunch Bar
Bite into chocolate, then get a bite of ice cream, then get ANOTHER REALLY BIG BITE OF CHOCOLATE YES PLEASE I WANT ONE NOW.
3. Choco Taco
Fantastic (ridiculous name notwithstanding). All the virtues of a drumstick but, BONUS, you get chocolate, wafer cone and ice cream in every. single. bite.
2. Strawberry Shortcake Bar
That fake-strawberry taste melds seamlessly with sub-par ice cream and tiny little “graham cracker” (who knows what they really are) pieces, and a star is born.