1. Nyan Cat
2. Scumbag Steve
• New Era ‘A-Tooth’ Brown-Wheat fitted baseball cap.
Take note: Boston Redsox hats are no longer available. You’ll have to settle for a Yankees, A’s, or Giants hat.
• Construction paper
• Carboard Boxes
(Don’t bring your baby to the bar.)
• Metallic Eyeshadow, caked on extra thick.
• Open-Toed Shoes
• Anything you consider slutty.
5. A certain nude celeb we can’t talk about.
• Beige Towel
• A Hair Tie
6. Ted Williams: The Man With The Golden Voice
Buy this really expensive Charlie Sheen mask, or just smoke a lot of crack and generally be an asshole.
8. A Gropaga (The Cult Of Inglip)
9. A Brony
Just buy a bunch of My Little Pony merchandise and carry it around with you.
You can probably wear whatever dress you want as long as you have a hat that looks like a toilet seat with a ribbon on it.
12. Rebecca Black
• A teen girl’s backpack
• Indecisiveness about seating arrangements
13. Harold Camping
• Buy an ugly suit.
• Carry a Bible.
• Be really old.