6 Alcoholic Beverages Based On Kim Kardashian’s Papercut

Ever since being horribly disfigured by the sharp edge of an envelope, the world is abuzz with Kim Kardashian papercut fandomonium! Here are the 6 best drinks based on the grisly ordeal.

1. The Bloody Dash

1 quart of tomato juice
2 1/2 cups Smirnoff Vodka
1 tablespoon horseradish
1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup lime juice
1 teaspoon Tobasco
1 stalk celery
1 slice of jalapeno pepper
Just a DASH of celery salt (see what I did there?)

2. The Red-Eyed Kim

1 Cup Red Eye Bloody Mary Mix
2 Cups Silverwolf Vodka
1 stalk of celery
1 lime wedge

3. Daddy Robert’s Hush Slush

1 cup tomato juice
3 oz. O.J.
4 oz. tequila
1 teaspoon tobasco
1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
4 jalapeno peppers

Freeze in an unsealed container until ice crystals form.

4. Bloody Lady Finger Licker

1/2 cup vodka
1 teaspoon chopped cilantro
1 1/3 cup tomato juice
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 teaspoon worchestershire sauce
A dash of celery salt
1 piece of pickled okra
1 lemon wedge

5. The Hyperbolic Headshaker

1 cup vodka
1/2 cup gin
1/4 cup Clamato
1 teaspoon tabasco
A dash of celery seed
1 tablespoon lime juice
celery stalk

6. The Kim Kardashian Headline

1 bottle of Cristal champagne
5 fancy ketchup packets
1 rock of crack cocaine
A heaping helping of self-loathing
And finally, sleep.

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