12 Signs You Treat Your Car Better Than You Treat Yourself

You can’t love another until you learn to love yourself. Treat yo’ self with a new 2014 Chevrolet Sonic or Spark and turn over a new leaf.

1. Your car gets a full wax, but you only get a half.

Daniel M. Hendricks / CC BY-ND 2.0 / Flickr: hendricksphotos

stevegato2 / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: stevegatto

 

2. You forbid dirty paws inside the vehicle, but allow them on your sheets.

Takashi Hososhima / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: htakashi

Matt Buck / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: mattbuck007

 

3. You pull out all the bells and whistles to wash your car, but spend about two minutes showering.

Peter Dutton / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: joeshlabotnik

 

4. You cover your car with beautiful sentiments, but write chores on yourself.

Patrick Feller / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: nakrnsm

Andrew Gray / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: shimgray

 

5. You have a special glove to touch your car, but you’ll scratch yourself with dirty fingernails for eternity.

Creap / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: jacobrask

 

Resist.

6. You follow a strict schedule for oil changes, but haven’t been to the doctor in years.

Eric Schmuttenmaer / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: booleansplit

Robert S. Donovan / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: booleansplit

 

7. You call your car by an adorable nickname, but are not as kind to yourself.

rick / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: spine

Joel Eppinette / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: lets_dothat

 

8. You’ve reserved an entire parking lot for your car, but live in a one-bedroom apartment with three roommates.

William Hook / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: williamhook

Zack Sheppard / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: quikbeam

 

9. You keep stuffed animals on your dashboard so it doesn’t get lonely, but you refuse to try online dating.

Ted Sakshaug / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: tsakshaug

Nicholas Canup / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: 36769309@N04

 

10. You buy a new steering wheel cover with every change of season, but you haven’t bought a new towel since college.

Charlie Brewer / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: 11827916@N00

Chelsea Gomez / CC BY-ND 2.0 / Flickr: pyxopotamus

 

11. Your car gets a ribboned bow for its birthday, but you only get a plastic one. :(

zeevveez / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: zeevveez

Lindsey Turner / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: theogeo

 

Remember — you’re someone’s gift.

12. You don’t go a day without wearing your silver car ring, but have lost your wedding ring four times.

Raymond Gilford / CC BY-ND 2.0 / Flickr: shuttercat7 /

 

“Don’t tell the Mrs.!”

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