5. You have a special glove to touch your car, but you’ll scratch yourself with dirty fingernails for eternity.
8. You’ve reserved an entire parking lot for your car, but live in a one-bedroom apartment with three roommates.
9. You keep stuffed animals on your dashboard so it doesn’t get lonely, but you refuse to try online dating.
10. You buy a new steering wheel cover with every change of season, but you haven’t bought a new towel since college.
11. Your car gets a ribboned bow for its birthday, but you only get a plastic one. :(
Remember — you’re someone’s gift.