1. Set up sinkholes throughout the house.
That’ll really mess up your Netflix queue.
2. Pluck each other’s unibrows.
It’ll be so intimate.
4. Propose to them at a mall.
Invite all their friends from work.
5. Make a game out of visiting your in-laws.
See how many times you can pet your father-in-law’s head without him catching on.
6. Dance like a ballerina in the bathroom when they pee.
Don’t let them close the door.
7. Steal the thing they love most once a week.
So they appreciate you the rest of the week.
8. Make a life-size brownie shaped like them.
Wait for them to come home. So sessi.
9. Dress up in a dog costume when they fall asleep.
You know, so they wake up sleeping next to a dog.