1. Published in 1976, The Amazing Spider-Man vs. the Prodigy was Planned Parenthood’s way to connect with the young people — cause, you know, the best way to reach out to sexually active teens is through comic books.
2. It starts off as your typical Spider-Man comic; which is basically just him hanging on a building
3. Until he notices something weird: Teenagers being mysteriously helicoptered away.
4. And who was behind this mysterious mass teen abduction? Why Prodidgy, the alien overlord who wants to make teenagers have unprotected sex so that they’ll have babies — that he will then take back to his planet and use as child laborers.
5. Plus he does it wearing a polyester suit and platforms! Cause he’s one badass fly mofo.
6. LOL, even Spider-Man is down with the way the kids talk! Can you dig it, man?
Also, Spider-Man is responsible and knows he is not ready for kids. Anytime he and Mary Jane get down, he keeps it wrapped up.
7. Luckily for Spider-Man, the teens aren’t buying Prodigy’s jive talk!
8. Still Spider-Man must expose Prodigy, before he is able to convince the teens to start having unprotected sex — possibly by giving them Quaaludes (that’s a ’70s thing, right?).A
9. And I guess part of exposing him is by making him choke on his web-goo (that’s not a euphemism).
Damn Spider-Man, that’s harsh are you just letting him die?
10. Of course, Spidey also had to let teens know (at least the ones who read comic books) the facts about your body and changes.
Cause it’s not anymore creepy and uncomfortable hearing it from Spider-Man than it is from your parents!
11. h/t: Retronaut
- Kids in California schools can no longer be opted out of vaccination on religious or personal grounds under a new law.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who has faced political fallout from the "Bridgegate" scandal, is running for president. He's the 14th Republican in the race.
- Misty Copeland has become the first black female principal dancer in American Ballet Theater's 75-year history.
- And Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have decided to divorce after 10 years of marriage. ?