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Cabbage Patch Kids Preemies: The Most WTF Toy Of The ’80s

The very unnecessary dolls that made light of a frightening ordeal.

1. In 1985, riding high on the success of Cabbage Patch Kids, Coleco decided to expand the doll line. Unfortunately they chose to base the new dolls on premature infants, a rather delicate and heartbreaking issue.

2. Called “Preemie,” they were three inches shorter than regular Cabbage Patch Kids and came complete with tiny diapers and very little hair and smelled like baby powder.

3. The Preemie boxes actually supplied information from the March of Dimes on the definition of a premature birth, along with details of complications and how to care for a Preemie.

4. The box also explained that an early frost on the Cabbage Patch caused the premature birth.

5. Even the “adoption papers” that came with the doll identified it as a Preemie.

6. Accessories for Preemies ranged from clothing…

7. Sewing patterns…

8. Instructional books for crocheting outfits…

9. Paper dolls….

10. To the truly WTF, a Preemie cake pan!

11. Today, Cabbage Patch Kids Preemies (and accessories) are easily available on sites like eBay and Etsy. Ranging in price from anywhere between $15 (for an open doll) to $60 (for dolls still in the box).

12. Cabbage Patch Kids Preemie commercial:

13. Another Cabbage Patch Kids Preemie commercial:

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