1. OK, I really don’t think the wait will be that bad. I mean, I feel that it’s kind of a weird time to be going out to dinner.
2. WOW. This place is packed. Like, potential fire hazard packed.
3. People should not be bringing their kids this late to eat dinner.
4. Well, maybe it won’t be too long of wait.
5. That hostess looks likes she totally hates her job.
6. That’s RUDE, why would someone start talking to the hostess when it was clear that I was the next person in line to talk to her?
7. It’s about time I got the hostess’ attention.
8. How can the wait be THAT long?!
9. Ugh, I am already here, I might as well wait.
10. Why do those cheesecakes in the case have to look so good?
11. I am definitely going to treat myself to a slice.
12. Why is there nowhere to sit while I’m waiting?
13. How have only 20 minutes passed?!
14. Is it too late to leave and go to another restaurant?
15. Fuck it. I am already here.
16. OK. Why are those people over there getting seated? I am pretty sure they got here after me.
17. HOLD. ON. I know that couple being seated definitely got here way after me.
18. YESSS! I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy for restaurant pager to go off.
19. How do the waiters keep their all-white uniforms so spotless?
20. This table is in a weird spot. I feel like everyone has to walk by me to get to their table.
21. I’m definitely trying something different this time. The only thing I ever order is the Famous Factory Meatloaf.
22. Oh man, this menu is overwhelming.
23. Did they add more items to menu; it feels like way more than usual.
24. Can I really trust a restaurant that makes so many types of cuisine? It’s like make one type of food well, right?!
25. They sure have a lot of ads in the menu.
26. Hmmm, should I get an appetizer?
27. Well, maybe just a small appetizer.
28. Why am I even looking at the menu? I know I’m getting the spinach dip.
29. Oooo, bread!
30. I really shouldn’t eat the bread. But it’s all warm and smells delicious — I’ll just grab a piece.
31. OK. I need to make up my mind on my entrée.
32. I really need to make sure I leave room for cheesecake.
33. WOW, I was right, the bread tastes great with the dip.
34. Shit, I spent too much time eating bread, and now the server is here, fuck it, I’m getting the meatloaf.
35. I really, really, shouldn’t get more bread.
36. Is there such a thing as too much butter on a piece of bread?
37. Holy crap my entrée is huge.
38. WHO EATS THIS MUCH FOOD?!
39. OK, I’ll eat just half and take the rest home.
40. Well, maybe just a little more than half. I mean I’ll still have a lot leftover.
41. WHY DID I FILL UP ON BREAD?
42. Ugh, I can’t even think about a slice of cheesecake.
43. It just got seriously warm in here.
44. I don’t think I even want to take this food home.
45. This happens every time, I never make it to the cheesecake.
46. *pays bill* They should really call this place the You Won’t Make it to a Slice of Cheesecake Factory.