1. Love is swell until you’re bludgeoned to death by a psycho jealous ex.
The dog tried to warn them.
2. Speaking of bludgeoning:
If you get this card, RUN!
5. Little known fact: The boy in the card was modeled after a young Dick Cheney.
8. What’s going on here?! Why does that dirty old snowman have that smile on his face?
9. A rather direct request by this Popeye impersonator.
10. I now have a new unholy creature to haunt my dreams:
Don’t stare directly into it’s eyes, it will steal your soul.