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27 Weird And Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

These are perfect to send to someone you hate.

1. Love is swell until you’re bludgeoned to death by a psycho jealous ex.

The dog tried to warn them.

2. Speaking of bludgeoning:

If you get this card, RUN!

3. Um, yeah there are laws against this!

4. She learned it wasn’t a hot tub the hard way.

5. Little known fact: The boy in the card was modeled after a young Dick Cheney.

6. I’m guessing pen is a euphemism for something else.

7. Wait, did he murder and cremate a woman?

8. What’s going on here?! Why does that dirty old snowman have that smile on his face?

9. A rather direct request by this Popeye impersonator.

10. I now have a new unholy creature to haunt my dreams:

Don’t stare directly into it’s eyes, it will steal your soul.

11. I don’t think she is being surprised as much as she’s being suffocated!

12. On the next episode of TLC’s Strange Sex:

13. Wow, that got inappropriate quick.

15. Who doesn’t want to be “juiced” *wink, wink* on Valentine’s Day?

17. Those eyes! That stare! That look definitely says, “I’m NOT gonna be ignored, Dan!”

18. Yeah, I had to look at this card twice too.

19. That wink says you’re next to be butchered.

20. Was she cryogenically frozen?

21. I like where this is headed!

22. I’m thinking this was no accident.

23. Is this the perfect card for anyone with a fish fetish?

24. The card that says “Just so you know my love for you is less than my love of Big Macs.”

25. Nothing says “I love you” like a creepy clown.

26. Just a gentle reminder: You’re SINGLE on Valentine’s Day.

27. Clearly, the message here is that there is only one thing to do if you’re dateless on Valentines’ Day:

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