30 Things You Miss About Roommates When Living Alone

Without pants or other people around to judge you, life is pretty sweet, but seriously — who’s gonna split this Pad Thai with me?

1. Sharing cleaning duties.

Suddenly your one-bedroom seems to have. So. Much. FLOOR to mop!

2. Splitting bill$, too.

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So you could save money for the more *important* things.

3. Someone to take the blame.

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Sink overflowing with crusty dishes? Couldn’t be you. Oh wait. You live alone now. That was you. Gross.

4. Fashion advice.

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Great ideas you maybe hadn’t considered.

5. Carpooling.

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That song just doesn’t sound as good sung solo.

6. Reminding you what happened last night.

Can I get a witness?

7. A captive audience.

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Your friends and coworkers are sick of hearing about your new diet — but a roommate has no place to run.

8. Assisting with tricky clothing.

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Not to mention neck-shaving assistance. How are you supposed to see back there??

9. The occasional homemade goodie.

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Especially that one who stress-baked while studying for the GRE.

10. Someone to help you eat the dinner you made.

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If you take just a bite of this quiche, I am officially validated.

11. Necessary reality-checks/”shame”.

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If another human is around to witness you chugging pickle brine, you’re probably less likely to overload your sodium intake. Probably.

12. But! They can make *you* feel more normal.

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*pats head* We’re gonna pretend that pickle juice thing wasn’t a thing.

13. Pep talks.

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Instead of the eye-roll your laptop prefers.

14. Someone to celebrate small victories with.

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The hot water is back on? Ah, hell yeah.

15. Their pets.

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All of the cuddles, none of the 6 a.m. walks in January.

16. A back-up alarm.

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Sometimes your clock radio, phone and, like, the sun — JUST ARE NOT ENOUGH.

17. Justification for ordering take-out.

Although eating a whole pizza yourself isn’t too bad.

18. Company for running boring/necessary errands.

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It’s not like any of your friends who live across town are dying to accompany you on a hunt for killer tub grout.

19. A hand around the house in general.

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Hi, can you help me get this thing I can’t reach from the couch? Thanks.

20. Partner for Sunday Funday.

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Or… other make-believe stay-at-home observances.

21. Helping you host house parties.

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Good for crowd control, entertaining the masses and deflecting the obligatory invites.

22. Letting you in when you forget your keys.

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Now you get to call a locksmith and pay up $50 when you misplace your keys. LOL.

23. Two words: sick clique.

When you’re not the only human snot factory in the house, it doesn’t seem as gross.

24. Comfort.

Complaining on Tumblr softens life’s blows only so much.

25. Dropping knowledge randomly.

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When it’s put THAT way…

26. Reminding you there’s life outside your head.

So get out of bed.

27. “Borrowing” “essentials” when you run out.

Gotta make stir-fry for dinner but you’re all out of olive oil? Borrow a splash. Maybe a splash of wine, too, while you’re at it.

28. Being weird together.

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Then it’s almost OK.

29. Coming home to a pal.

Instead of your half-nibbled Little Debbie snack cake.

30. Someone to listen to your problems.

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Tea parties with your stuffed animals doesn’t usually summon similar closure feelings.

However, your old roommates can always visit your new home.

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And then leave you to rehearse your solo break-out electro-slackgaze musical project sans pants. Or sip on pickle juice. Or whatever it is you wanna do and now can…

…because you live alone and that means you’re the king/queen of your castle.

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G’on witcha pantless dance.

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