30 Things You Miss About Roommates When Living Alone

Without pants or other people around to judge you, life is pretty sweet, but seriously — who’s gonna split this Pad Thai with me?

1. Sharing cleaning duties.

Suddenly your one-bedroom seems to have. So. Much. FLOOR to mop!

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2. Splitting bill$, too.

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So you could save money for the more *important* things.

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3. Someone to take the blame.

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Sink overflowing with crusty dishes? Couldn’t be you. Oh wait. You live alone now. That was you. Gross.

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4. Fashion advice.

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Great ideas you maybe hadn’t considered.

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5. Carpooling.

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That song just doesn’t sound as good sung solo.

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6. Reminding you what happened last night.

Can I get a witness?

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7. A captive audience.

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Your friends and coworkers are sick of hearing about your new diet — but a roommate has no place to run.

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8. Assisting with tricky clothing.

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Not to mention neck-shaving assistance. How are you supposed to see back there??

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9. The occasional homemade goodie.

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Especially that one who stress-baked while studying for the GRE.

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10. Someone to help you eat the dinner you made.

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If you take just a bite of this quiche, I am officially validated.

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11. Necessary reality-checks/”shame”.

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If another human is around to witness you chugging pickle brine, you’re probably less likely to overload your sodium intake. Probably.

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12. But! They can make *you* feel more normal.

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*pats head* We’re gonna pretend that pickle juice thing wasn’t a thing.

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13. Pep talks.

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Instead of the eye-roll your laptop prefers.

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14. Someone to celebrate small victories with.

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The hot water is back on? Ah, hell yeah.

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15. Their pets.

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All of the cuddles, none of the 6 a.m. walks in January.

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16. A back-up alarm.

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Sometimes your clock radio, phone and, like, the sun — JUST ARE NOT ENOUGH.

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17. Justification for ordering take-out.

Although eating a whole pizza yourself isn’t too bad.

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18. Company for running boring/necessary errands.

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It’s not like any of your friends who live across town are dying to accompany you on a hunt for killer tub grout.

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19. A hand around the house in general.

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Hi, can you help me get this thing I can’t reach from the couch? Thanks.

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20. Partner for Sunday Funday.

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Or… other make-believe stay-at-home observances.

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21. Helping you host house parties.

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Good for crowd control, entertaining the masses and deflecting the obligatory invites.

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22. Letting you in when you forget your keys.

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Now you get to call a locksmith and pay up $50 when you misplace your keys. LOL.

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23. Two words: sick clique.

When you’re not the only human snot factory in the house, it doesn’t seem as gross.

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24. Comfort.

Complaining on Tumblr softens life’s blows only so much.

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25. Dropping knowledge randomly.

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When it’s put THAT way…

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26. Reminding you there’s life outside your head.

So get out of bed.

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27. “Borrowing” “essentials” when you run out.

Gotta make stir-fry for dinner but you’re all out of olive oil? Borrow a splash. Maybe a splash of wine, too, while you’re at it.

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28. Being weird together.

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Then it’s almost OK.

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29. Coming home to a pal.

Instead of your half-nibbled Little Debbie snack cake.

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30. Someone to listen to your problems.

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Tea parties with your stuffed animals doesn’t usually summon similar closure feelings.

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However, your old roommates can always visit your new home.

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And then leave you to rehearse your solo break-out electro-slackgaze musical project sans pants. Or sip on pickle juice. Or whatever it is you wanna do and now can…

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…because you live alone and that means you’re the king/queen of your castle.

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G’on witcha pantless dance.

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