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21 Truly Upsetting Vintage Recipes

Who’s hungry?

1. Tuna and Jell-o Pie

Golden Press / Via midcenturymenu.com

Golden Press / Via midcenturymenu.com

 

Also known as the Summer Salad Pie, which Betty Crocker’s Dinner in a Dish Cookbook (1965) dubiously calls “pretty as can be.”

Recipe here.

2. Ham and Bananas Hollandaise

McCall’s / Via vintagerecipecards.com

Nope.

Recipe here.

3. Hot Dog Fondue

Betty Crocker / Via kitchenmonkey.blogspot.com

Who knew hot dogs could be so customizable?

4. Perfection Salad

McCall’s / Via vintagerecipecards.com

Playing pretty fast and loose with the terms “perfection” and “salad.”

Recipe here.

5. Frosted Ribbon Loaf

Flickr: akbuthod / Creative Commons

I don’t care if the frosting is cream cheese-based, it still doesn’t belong anywhere near “pretty layers of ham and egg filling.”

Recipe here.

6. Lobster Relish

Davis Gelatine / Via boingboing.net

Is it…is it alive?

Recipe here.

7. Jellied Tomato Refresher

Weight Watchers / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

Definitely too chunky to be refreshing.

Recipe here.

8. Atora Steak Puddings

These look like props from a murder movie.

9. Lime Cheese Salad

The makings of a great meal: citrus, dairy, and a heap of “seafood salad.”

10. Liver Sausage Pineapple

Better Homes and Gardens / Via turkeysandwich.wordpress.com

Just imagine the horror of expecting something pineapple-flavored and instead getting a mix of liverwurst, mayo, and Worcestershire. IMAGINE.

Recipe here.

11. Super Salad Loaf

“…and pack into bologna shell.”

12. Shrimp Sandwich Roll

Pillsbury / Via pinterest.com

Taking something that probably tastes pretty decent and making it look like a log of vomit.

Recipe unavailable online, but found in here.

13. Frozen Cheese Salad

Weight Watchers / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

Seems like being on Weight Watchers in the ’70s was kind of bummer, no?

Recipe here.

14. Monterey Soufflé Salad

Flickr: 21233184@N02 / Creative Commons

AGAIN with the fish/gelatin/citrus combo?

15. Spam ‘n’ Limas

More like “AAAHHHHH! inspiring.”

16. Banana Candle

This one comes from Be Bold With Bananas — which, admittedly, sounds like a must-read — but, guys. GUYS.

17. Snowy Chicken Confetti Salad

Better Homes and Gardens / Via theteacupincident.typepad.com

What’s most alarming about this one is the impossibility of actually locating the chicken.

18. Glazed Potato Salad

Best Foods / Via mentalfloss.com

Can we just stop turning everything into loaves?

19. Baked Stuffed Salmon

Curtin Publications, Inc. / Via vintagerecipecards.com

[Host places dish on table, beaming with pride.]
[Guests flee in tears.]

Recipe here.

20. Igloo Meat Loaf

OK, that’s actually adorable.

Recipe here.

21. ?????????

LOL BYE

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