1. This crazy dream sequence.
2. Vance whips out the dead wife card.
3. This moment when Parsons got totally owned.
Nothing says “I think you’re a worm” like any iteration of “fetch me my tea.”
4. Abby designs a video game so she can pretend-shoot Parsons.
Maybe her time would be better spent solving crimes?
5. That moment when Parsons was way less important than birthday cake.
6. When Abby voted for biweekly elevator meetings.
We get it, Abby. You’re quirky.
7. When Gibbs has a log cabin, and DiNozzo insults it.
8. When Gibbs sees a helicopter circling overhead.
9. The team sees the decapitated head of a lieutenant. Tony decides to make a movie reference.
Now is not the time, Tony.
10. This *pun unintended* moment.
11. When Ducky serves up some realtalk.
12. When Abby calls it like she sees it.
13. When Tony realizes McGee has an awful lot of access to certain files…
14. When Vance uses a metaphor at a weird moment.
Now is really not the time for imagery.
15. When Ziva takes the longest pause between “our” and “friendship” in the history of friendship.
Tony kisses her on the head. The Tiva torture continues.
16. When it turns out dream-Mike wants a drink.
17. Oh, and WHEN EVERYBODY QUITS.
They don’t even SAY ANYTHING. THEY JUST LAY THEIR BADGES ON THE TABLE.
18. And then there’s the little matter of the final moments of the episode, when Gibbs is suddenly a sniper.
WHAT?! What is happening?! Seriously, does anyone know what’s happening?!