1. Christopher Pelant (Andrew Leeds) has set up a creepy and extensive surveillance system. Bones! You’re a tiny blur in a parking lot!
2. It’s safe to say he’s probably still miffed that Booth (David Boreanaz) shot him in the face.
3. He’s still playing chess. Typical murderous genius move.
4. At the beginning of the episode, Bones (Emily Deschanel) is still not at all down to get married.
She tells Booth as much.
5. They’re called to a crime scene to investigate what appears to be an ordinary murder (an ordinary murder?). But then Cam (Tamara Taylor) says the man was shot by an expert.
6. It turns out the victim was an FBI agent. He was also Booth’s partner.
Hitting a little close to home.
7. Because the details of the crime closely resemble a crime in a paper he wrote, Sweets (John Francis Daley) suspects the killer might be Pelant. He suspects correctly.
8. A second FBI agent is killed, and Booth interviews this “witness” (Sarah Stouffer).
As soon as my brother saw this girl, he said, “She’s working with Pelant.” HE WAS RIGHT, everyone: You should not trust this girl. She’s working with Pelant.
9. Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) regrets not strangling Pelant when he had the chance. Which, you know, yikes.
This is both a weird thing to feel guilty about and a thing that’s going to crop up again.
10. Knowing that Pelant’s last two victims are FBI agents, Bones tells Booth, “You are not allowed to die.”
Not kidding, I wept a little when she said it.
11. They apprehend a suspect (Beau Knapp), who is also one of Bones’ standard “inbred yokel” characters.
It turns out, he is not involved with any of the crimes they’re investigating.
12. Pelant is doing this creepy thing where he makes a video of his own face but then it transforms into someone else’s face.
13. THE FACE OF A DEAD MAN (we later learn)
14. Here’s a curveball: Bones proposes to Booth!!!
15. He accepts!!!
16. (This is the second time in this episode that I have cried.)
17. But! With his improbably throrough surveillance system, Pelant sees the proposal. And he seems pretty mad about it.
18. Back at the Jeffersonian, the geniuses get hold of that weird tape Pelant made of his face disguised as another face. Using his incredible knowledge of birds, Hodgins figures out it’s a fake!
19. Angela hacks into the “witness” girl’s computer and finds out the next victim is Sweets!
20. But Booth shoots the would-be killer before she shoots Sweets, so I guess everything is okay.
21. Christine is being really adorable, and then Booth gets a call from Pelant, who forces Booth to tell Bones he doesn’t want to get married. Also, Booth can’t say Pelant made him do it.
22. Like, are you for real with this surveillance system? I’m supposed to believe that Pelant has at least six slightly different angles on a droopy tree in a park? A park?
Where is this cluster of cameras hidden? Who set up these cameras? Why are they all pointed at pretty much the exact same thing?