1. This wedding has been a long time coming. It is pretty motherflipping exciting.
Meant to be. So meant to be.
2. But when the team is called in to investigate a murder the day before the wedding is scheduled, Hodgins and Sweets immediately start placing bets on how fast the wedding will be canceled.
“Worst friends ever,” Cam says.
It’s not really clear why they have to solve the case immediately, since it’s an old case. But I guess they do!
3. Parker shows up, because he’s Booth’s best man. Luckily, he is not at all resentful that he virtually never sees his father anymore.
Kids, you know, they’re resilient.
4. Brennan is really into wearing white at her wedding, which is funny because we know what she thinks about that kind of hypocrisy.
5. See also, Season 4:
7. In fact, Brennan explicitly said she would not wear white at her wedding. See this moment from the Season 8 finale:
8. Hey, remember how Brennan won first place in her school science fair when she was in seventh grade and lost the medal?
And in Season 6, Episode 19, a professional “finder” found it for her because it was important to her and she was sad that she’d lost it?
9. Like, she lost something that would actually be important to her. A medal. A medal she won for being a genius. And yet she managed to hang on to some wedding dress picture since she was 8? It’s the dress she always imagined she’d wear on her wedding day?
Do the writers of Bones even watch the show?
10. Shortly after they solve the case, the church burns down! It seems like the wedding’s gotta be postponed. Booth inexplicably says this:
11. But! Angela takes the reins of the wedding, and she delivers what might be the hokiest line ever on Bones. If you watch the show, you know that’s a pretty high bar.
For the love of god stop this metaphor.
12. Brennan invites the interns to her wedding. Her explanation for not inviting them until now is Bones-y and incredible.
Shooting straight from the hip per usual.
13. Hodgins steals clothes from the history of fashion exhibit for the interns to wear. It is stupid and great.
14. Cyndi Lauper is back as Avalon, Angela’s psychic. She sings “At Last” as Brennan walks down the aisle. It is quite moving.
“You are mine at last” seems like a deeply silly thing to sing to two people who cohabit and already have a damn baby together. Still, beautiful.
15. The guests throw flower petals. Brennan looks really happy about it.
16. Brennan and Booth look at each other. Swooning.
17. Caroline starts to cry.
18. As is his wont, Max threatens to kill Booth.
19. Max says Booth can call him “Dad.” And then Bones makes this face:
The face I’m making is one that includes eye rolls.
20. And then Max announces that he won the pool.
21. Bones makes sure no one misunderstands what’s going on with this ceremony.
Brennan of all people would recognize that it actually is one man ceremonially handing over a woman to another man as if she’s property, but it’s fun that she says this.
22. Booth had written vows, but he tears them up because he is a man of action and when he speaks, he speaks from the heart.
“We have been chasing each other for a long time,” he says. “Chasing you has been the smartest thing that I have ever done in my life. And being chased by you has been my greatest joy.”
“We caught each other.”
23. Then the officiant asks Brennan if she’ll be speaking from the heart as well.
Brennan! You always take things so literally!
24. Brennan pulls out her speech from her boobs. She’s practical.
25. She reads him the letter she wrote when she thought she was going to die. Romantic!
“You make my life messy and confusing, and unfocused and irrational,” she says. “And wonderful.”