1. The appointment where your orthodontist told you it was time for you to get braces.
2. That first time you realized tomato-based sauces stained clear bands.
I thought these were supposed to be clear.
3. That moment when there’s static on the radio and everyone looked at you.
Make the insanity STOP!
4. The one time you open-mouth smiled and someone alerted you to stuck food.
Note: Never smile again and no, I am NOT saving it for later.
5. All of the other times you close-mouth smiled for real life situations…especially in pictures.
Raise lip up, bring lip down over brackets, make a scrunch grin.
6. That one time where you tried to smile again, but your upper lip curled and got caught on your braces.
What’s worse? NOTHING.
7. That period that you got too creative with color.
Red and green bands does not a piano mouth make!
8. That exchange where someone with perfect teeth called you “metal mouth.”
I am rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and….STICKS TO MY RUBBER BANDS.
9. The humiliation of having had to put wax on your teeth because your mouth was being ripped apart and then not being able to get the wax off.
10. Having to say goodbye to apples, dark soda, straws, gum, hard candy, and all other enjoyable food for at least a year.
Baiii normal life.
11. That time you had braces in college.
“Sho nysh to meetchu! Dish is my first frat partee. College ish SHO much fun.”
12. That night someone almost kissed you until they realized you had BRACES.
Come closer. No. Closer.
13. The day you went to get your braces removed and your orthodontist told you you’d have to wear a retainer forever.
14. That high school reunion when you realized everyone still remembered you as “the person with braces.”
Don’t you get it? That was the old me!
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