1. The scroll down on this look. You THINK its a gown, but then…
2. She sources materials for hemline trim at the carwash.
3. She wore this skintight leopard jumpsuit before Rihanna would even know that’s something she “should” do.
4. She single-handedly started the all-white trend.
5. She didn’t distinguish between dressing for the beach and dressing for everywhere else.
The way the rest of us fools do.
6. She and Nicki boarded the ironic dressing bandwagon before all of us.
Ironically wearing the same thing at the same time is SO something Cara Delevingne and Rita Ora would do now for attention.
7. Paris is the rare soul with the balls to wear Jeremy Scott head to toe.
N.B.: She was also basically the first person in history to go out in the wedge sneakers that have become about as ubiquitous as oxygen.
8. Paris was America’s first top model.
9. No backstage was complete without her.
Apparently, according to this photo, she’s also the basis of Ke$ha’s entire aesthetic now.
10. She wore lucite clear heels before all of us.
And if she ever had to get randomly drug-tested Lindsey Vonn style, she often ran around in a hemline that was up to the task.
11. She sometimes dressed like My Little Pony.
12. She knew that wearing half a shirt and half a skirt equaled one whole outfit.
13. In fact, she had this loin cloth in just about every color.
14. When she forgot to pack her rhinestone belts, she accessorized with shirtless men.
15. She went camping dressed like Sarah Jessica Parker.
16. She was the first person in history to realize the power of cat apparel.
17. She used high-calorie food as accessories before Instagram popularized the fad.
18. She wore Tinkerbell to a party for her Pulitzer-worthy book.
Spoiler alert: this seminal work of literature didn’t win a Pulitzer but her sweater is winning all its own.
19. Even her dog wore hipster dresses before anyone had any desire to live in Greenpoint.
Meanwhile Paris, ever the trailblazer, boldly mixed pearls with chandelier earrings.
20. She DIY’d her Zuhair Murad gown way before J. Lo discovered him.
21. She understood the power of ombré before all of us.
22. And sometimes — like, when she decided to be seen during daylight hours — she was capable of toning it down.
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