20 Lies About Working In Fashion You Heard On “The Hills”

Is your fashion job not quite what you envisioned? Blame Lauren Conrad for any and all disappointment.

1. Working in fashion is basically nothing like The Hills led you to believe. Firstly, you won’t spend all your time at work doing this:

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2. True, the fashion business is never short on fancy events and rooftop parties — but you won’t be invited.

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3. Instead, you’ll probably “work” the event.

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4. No, you can’t let your friends crash.

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5. And no, you can’t do this to guests’ faces.

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6. Working in the “fashion closet” is never this calm or organized.

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7. You most definitely won’t have daylong gossip sessions with your co-worker/BFF.

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8. And if you’re actually working in a fashion closet, it won’t look like a photo shoot for Elle Decor.

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9. You also won’t have any time to goof around or have any kind of fun whatsoever.

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Because you’ll be so busy, you feel like this all day, every day.

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10. You definitely won’t have time to take care of a purse dog.

Unless you also keep your very own Lo at home to care for it for 14+ hours a day.

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11. And you won’t have the time or money to go on swanky dates on random weeknights.

Some nights you’ll be lucky to have the time or energy for dinner at all.

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12. But let’s be honest — you’re not meeting straight guys anyway.

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13. Oh, and if you were to meet Marc Jacobs (which you won’t), you wouldn’t treat him like like any old acquaintance.

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Because you’d be too busy doing this.

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14. Oh, and you’d never be in a major brand’s fashion show because the model couldn’t make it last-minute.

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15. You will certainly not end up on a magazine cover.

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16. And you’ll never be “the girl who didn’t go to Paris,” because you won’t get asked.

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17. And if you were miraculously asked to go and then turned it down to spend a summer with your loser boyfriend instead, you would never be asked again.

Life lessons from Lauren Conrad: Always say yes to Paris.

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18. You won’t attend any galas or balls. And you definitely won’t get to borrow clothes from Alberta Ferretti to wear to anything.

But you might get a free promotional T-shirt from a crappy gift bag your boss didn’t want.

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19. You wouldn’t leave a fabulous ball early to steal away on a motorcycle with a Frenchman.

Because if you had to be there for work and you just left, you’d get fired.

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20. You actually might never work for, speak to, or come in contact with Kelly Cutrone.

Contrary to what every fashion reality show ever would lead you to believe.

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Are you feeling disappointed? Disillusioned?

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It’s all The Hills’ fault.

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