1. Horses have great hair. Better than yours, in fact. Have you ever been able to achieve this level of side-swept bang ferocity?
No. You haven’t.
2. And this horse’s hair is so utterly diaphanous, it looks fake. It’s not; it’s just preternaturally beautiful.
This horse feels sorry for you.
3. Even on a bad hair day, a horse’s hair is still roughly 5,000% better than yours.
Even the facial hair is spectacular.
4. Horses can do ombré in a subtle way that you haven’t been able to master.
5. And they make pink look better than ’90s-era Gwen Stefani.
Yeah, I said it.
6. Horses are the only species capable of combining jet black and platinum blonde that in no way looks trashy.
I challenge you to do the same.
7. Although, their natural hair colors are superior to anything we humans could replicate with a bottle.
The Farrah Fawcett of horses.
8. This hairstyle would look ridiculous on you. On this horse it’s so adorable you can’t even handle it.
Basically she’s the MPDG of horses.
9. Even awkward teenage horses still look more sophisticated and refined than you ever will as a human adult.
10. Horse hair can do things that Pinterest tutorials can’t even handle.
11. Like, how is this so beautiful? I would hang this picture on my wall as art.
12. And this! Nobody’s rows have ever been this festive.
13. This is the hair that Coachella fangirls live for.
But cannot have.
14. And this horse has the beachy waves you’ve only previously seen in your dreams.
Suck it, Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray.
15. And you could probably see your reflection in the sheen of this horse’s mane.
Not that you would want to, because you’d be reminded of your own hair’s inferiority.
16. The way a horse’s hair catches the afternoon light is a sight to behold.
And it’s said that if it happens to you, you’ll be blessed with 100 years’ good luck.
17. And how it floats in the wind. Not blows — floats.
*Angels chime in a heavenly chorus.*
18. Like, is this even real? This horse is SO. PRETTY.
Prettier than Jennifer Lawrence and Natalie Portman combined.
19. And admit it, if you saw this bombshell horse on the street, you’d ask to buy her a drink.
Hair is powerful that way.