Cleavage Is Out, Breastbones Are In

Hey, fashion designers? Our boobs aren’t going to work in these dresses.

Emma Stone at the London premiere of The Amazing Spider-Man on June 18, 2012.

Image by Joel Ryan / AP

When Emma Stone stepped out at the London premiere of The Amazing Spider Man everything seemed normal. She looked beautiful and fancy in her black sequined Eli Saab* jumpsuit as fans around the world cheered on her clothes-wearing and presence as usual — but something was missing. Just south of her head a triangle of chest flesh lay bare — and apparently breast-less. The jumpsuit effectively flattened the natural curves of her torso, pushing her breasts off to the side, under her armpits maybe, where they wouldn’t be a focal point of her look.

Judging by the recent couture runway collections in Paris, breasts are not due for celebration by the fashion industry any time soon. Fashion goes in and out of phases of breast appreciation, and it would seem now is a no-breasts-thankyouverymuch phase. Let’s take a look at some of the plunging V-necks — designed to show off a breast bone, but nary a breast — from the latest couture shows.

A leather skirt and vest by Atelier Gustavolins. It’s like the girl version of the Magic Mike costumes — only those boys had a lot more cleavage.

Image by FRANCOIS GUILLOT / Getty Images

At Armani Privé, cleavage was about as important as the models’ faces, which were wrapped up like a chocolate party favor at a spendy wedding.

Image by BENOIT TESSIER / Reuters

At Stephane Rolland’s show, dresses recalled vaginas, but breasts were merely flattened and stretched taut across the body.

Image by PIERRE VERDY / Getty Images

In this look by Stephane Rolland, harry sleeves steal the spotlight, breasts so hidden they’re not even an afterthought.

Image by PIERRE VERDY / Getty Images

This bizarre cape look by Stephane Rolland may allow for a hint of breastiness — a mere acknowledgement of their existence, really — but it immediately turns the eye to the white things that look like birds attacking her neck and pelvic region.

Image by PIERRE VERDY / Getty Images

A gothic evening look by Chanel. A suggestion of cleavage may be present but why would you look at that with those leather silver arm warmers and sparkly tights everyone stopped buying from American Apparel two years ago staring you in the face?

Image by Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Another look by Chanel with boob triangles seemingly constructed to tent the breasts so as to obviate their shape entirely.

Image by Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Chanel does it again with a silk satin nightie.

Image by Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Even Christian Dior — which was supposed to be the most exciting couture show of the season since they have a buzzy new designer — sent out this somewhat dowdy breastbone frame.

Image by BENOIT TESSIER / Reuters

Even dresses that were not plunging V-necks and looked like they should come with a bit of cleavage didn’t. Two examples from Dior:

Maybe Anna Winour’s trying to figure out how anyone aside from an A-cup would fit into this piece. Also, this one:

Image by BENOIT TESSIER / Reuters

Image by BENOIT TESSIER / Reuters

And while these models don’t have large breasts to begin with (very few of the top runway models do since it’s not a common physical trait in ladies so thin), these designers have every resource available to them to create the look they want. So if they desired cleavage on the runway, they’d use gel inserts and strategically placed styling tape to create it — like Victoria’s Secret does for its runway shows.

Ample bosoms may not be “in” right now, but at least there are still plenty of quite famous fashion plates out there who would never opt out of their God-given cleavage. These fashion-industry darlings might remind designers that women have boobs that can’t always be flattened like a pancake for the sake of wearing a dress or weird cape. Like Blake Lively.

Image by Jason Kempin / Getty Images

While fashion may be falling flat, you can still be your breast selves, ladies.

*An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated Emma Stone’s jumpsuit was by Eli Tahari; it was in face designed by Elie Saab.