21 Things That Just Shouldn’t Be Ombré

Ombré has seeped into everything from baked goods to tights to cat tees. Be very afraid. posted on

Look, I’m not saying ombré can’t be lovely — exceedingly lovely, even. Just look at this ombré aisle runner!

If this wonderful flower petal arrangement doesn’t say “dream wedding,” well, then, Kim Kardashian’s baby doesn’t have a really stupid name.

Ombré manicures can also look really, really nice!

And the ombré hair trend is still going strong, with some truly nice results.

Ombré is even quite bewitching on cats.

Go ombré!

But there’s a dark side. Because sometimes — a lot of the time — ombré goes horribly, horribly wrong.

1. Like when ombré befell this cableknit sweater.

2. Or when ombré infected this hairy coat.

Which would make you look like a soot-covered overgrown sheep.

3. Or when it seeped into this sleeveless denim “top” thing (whatever it is).

4. In fact, ombré has spread from the eerily enthusiastic realm of Pinterest to the world all around us. Even this rock isn’t safe.

5. Nor was this fringed vest.

Which had enough going on, TBH, before someone wrestled it into a bucket of blue dye.

6. But one of the most common victims of bad ombré — the kind of ombré that makes things look diseased — are studded jean shorts.

8. They’re hardly the only bottoms succumbing to the trend. So have these tights.

9. And these gray and Gatorade-colored leggings.

10. Baked goods are in even greater danger of suffering an ombré affliction.

No wedding cake is safe.

11. No cake maker can resist dyeing their cakes in a gradient-like fashion these days.

12. But dyeing cake is like dyeing chicken — just unnecessary!

13. As was adding ombré to the long fringe on this bustier.

14. Even adorable kittens on T-shirts can’t escape ombré.

Ombré transforms any ironic tee into a confusing, psychedelic affront to cotton.

15. The cold, hard truth is: some things just weren’t meant for ombré. Like acid wash.

16. Or fake toenails.

17. And we haven’t even gotten into leopard ombré eyeshadow yet.

18. Or ombré LIPS.

20. Or this guy’s ombré face/chest.

21. And this ombré suit? It’s probably not going to get you that job.

Unless your prospective employer isn’t turned off by people who look like they soaked in pee.

People say glitter is the herpes of craft products.

But that’s simply not true.

Because ombré is the herpes of EVERYTHING.

But hang in there, world. We’ll get through this horrible trend together.

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