1. You've bookmarked several options for dodgy live streams.
2. All other plans are suspended on match day.
3. You're disappointed when people around you don't know every song for every player.
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4. If you don't live in England, you're more than willing to wake up at ridiculous hours to watch a match.
5. You will buy pretty much any piece of merch related to your club.
6. It never ends, really.
7. You spend way too long coming up with your fantasy team name.
8. You spend countless hours watching YouTube compilations of potential transfer targets and youth team phenoms.
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9. A key player on your club forcing a move away feels as deep a betrayal as a real friend stabbing you in the back.
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*cue Gooner tears*
10. You'll even watch half-speed, meaningless preseason friendlies.
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11. You either have or have strongly considered getting a club-related tattoo.
12. One podcast is not enough.
And that's not even counting the CLUB podcasts.
13. If you're gonna watch a replay of a match later, you go on a full media blackout.
14. You get irrationally upset about "international breaks" because they take time away from the important games.
15. You think you might actually know who the Secret Footballer is.
16. Years of watching games (and playing Football Manager) have convinced you that you could run a club better than 90% of Premier League managers.
17. You love to hate and hate to love Match of the Day.
18. Martin Tyler gives you goosebumps.
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19. You say you hate the transfer window, but you still refresh rumor mill blogs and websites obsessively.
20. Even if they don't play for your club, you're upset to see marquee players leave England 'cause you'll get to watch them so much less.
21. You kinda hate summer because summer means NO GAMES.
22. Your club loyalties can even affect mealtime decisions.
23. One way or another, you have a very strong opinion about these two men.
24. No matter how old you are, you have no shame about wearing full kit.
25. And you have to get the updated kit each season. Even if it looks like this.
26. You try (but not always successfully) to get a handle on advanced tactics.
27. Diving makes you angrier than phone hacking and government wiretapping combined.
28. And it has for years.
29. You know that no matter what else is happening in your life, there will always be the next game to look forward to, and that it will be great.
