26 Incredibly Depressing Real Estate Listing Photos

These “charming,” “starter homes” on “tree-lined” blocks are “not to be missed.”

1. Ooooh, a loft bed, how positively bohemian.

2. You don’t really need natural light. Or happiness.

3. Could move the random piles of trash from the bathroom, but… *shrugs* *takes photo*

4. This Brooklyn dungeon comes with a 19th-century pillow and an indoor leaf blower. ACT FAST.

From the listing: “sunshine is the only thing you’ll really be missing out on.” OK, no prob!

5. Bloody footprints will be cleaned before your move-in date. Probably.

6. Fun fact: Your new dream home is actually a snow globe! Enjoy!!

7. This “unique starter home” just needs a “visionary buyer.”

Yes, really.

8. Swearing? Yup. Totally cool-looking timestamp? Uh huh. Large graffiti cock n’ balls? OBVIOUSLY.

9. The only limit this “bungalow” knows is your own imagination. Literally, though, you have to imagine it.

10. Cozy basement room with authentic Saw lighting and clay floors. One of a kind.

11. Classic fixer upper. Original detailing!

12. Not pictured: kidnapped person.

13. Boombox! *whispers “mini fridge instead of sink”* BOOMBOX, THOUGH!

14. Shared space with creative professional. Roomy and bright!

From listing: “Need notice. It is occupied.” No shit, occupied by an EVIL SCIENTIST.

15. Special “large, needlessly removed door now leaning against window” feature. Very unique.

16. Oh, sorry, you wanted to SEE the room? Trust me, it’s great, there’s at least one (1) comforter.

17. Cool artist loft for a progressive type under 4’8”.

18. “Room is a bed.”

19. Room available with cool geometric window.*

*Window looks onto abattoir parking lot.

20. Apartment comes with chandelier. It’s attached to a rake, taped to a stepladder, but STILL. Très chic!

21. Unique “jail-style” window contrasts well with asymmetrical tile pattern and “crime scene” accenting. The bathroom you’ve always dreamed of!

22. Rare “huge air duct and old soap scum” combination.

23. Cute room in fantastic neighborhood! (Note: smoky.)

24. Shared basement with marble(ish) floors. Great for artists!

25. Lush garden apartment. Comes with door, trash.

26. Technically a recording studio. But also technically a physical space inhabitable by human beings! Broker’s fee plus two months up front.

H/t to Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos for the inspiration.

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