1. When I was a child, I won a dancing competition against Nick Offerman.
2. I have 40 toes.
3. I prefer to use highlighter to sign documents.
4. I firmly believe that if every mountain in the world had a giant zipper attached to it, we as a people would think about both mountains and zippers in a completely different way.
5. I'm developing over-the-head pants for Jaclyn Smith's clothing line at K-Mart.
6. I think every morning should start with a good unicycle ride on the roof to check the rain gutters.
7. I eat dinner for breakfast, breakfast for lunch, and lunch for dinner.
8. Every time I eat chili, David Wain smiles.
9. To calm down and clear my head...
10. With every movie I watch, I pretend it's the sequel to a better, more interesting movie from three years ago.
The Greatest Event in Television History airs Thursday at midnight on Adult Swim, and will be followed by a special announcement.