1. First things first: Powerline is, was, and will always be the greatest pop star mankind has ever known.
2. And there will never be a better dance move than The Perfect Cast.
3. But A Goofy Movie is great for so many other reasons. For starters, the phrase “Hi Dad Soup” probably makes you involuntarily choke up.
4. You were totally jealous of Max’s cool room. Is that a yoga mat? Max, you’re so spiritual.
5. Goofy made other movie parents look like chumps. He was a single father but still found time to do chores while his hair dried.
6. You were mad jelly of all the hip ’90s fashions.
7. Honestly, what movie best encapsulates the fashion of the ’90s? Clueless? The Craft? Wrong. It’s Goofy Movie.
8. Titanic totally stole that “king of the world” scene from A Goofy Movie.
9. Blossom Russo totally stole her look from Stacy, even though Blossom debuted five years before A Goofy Movie.
What is time, though? Time is a construct. Time is fiction.
11. Also, real talk: you had a crush on Roxanne, and don’t try to deny it.
12. Roxanne made you want to up your voluptuous hair game.
13. The movie taught you to face your fears and be courageous.
(Even if you were only being courageous to get the attention of a hot dog-girl.)
14. It gave you hope that one day you too might have a shining moment of unbridled coolness, just like when Max hijacked the school assembly.
15. Seriously, if Max’s rendition of “Stand Out” didn’t send you into blissful cardiac arrest, you’re not human.
YO STACY! TALK TO ME, TALK TO ME, TALK TO ME BAY BAYYYYY…
16. See, Roxanne gets it. Max was super sexy (for a teenage dog).
17. The American Film Institute called A Goofy Movie the greatest musical of all time. This isn’t actually true, but it should be.
18. You wish all your waitresses were as badass as this diner lady.
19. You lament the fact that no family road trip will ever produce a motel room as breathtakingly beautiful as this one:
20. The film inspired the urge travel and see the world’s famous landmarks, like the Leaning Tower of Cheeza.
21. Max made you want to be a better person, like when he skated into a stranger’s house and saved a profoundly ugly baby from electrocuting itself.
22. The movie taught you to love your parent, even if their handwriting indicated they might be the victim of blunt force head trauma and definitely shouldn’t be driving.
24. It warned against the dangers of prolonged drug use.
25. A Goofy Movie has been inspiring others to express themselves for years. Go watch it now.
- Fox News has announced the 10 Republican candidates who will participate in the first debate of the 2016 U.S. presidential race on Thursday.
- The World Health Organization says new cases of Ebola in Sierra Leone and Guinea hit the lowest point in more than a year last week.
- Super Typhoon Soudelor, the strongest storm of 2015 so far, is threatening parts of Asia after hitting the Pacific island Saipan.