These guys are doing it right. Don't oversell the pizza.
People love it, yes, but it's just so...bland.
Look at this. Nothing special.
Plus, it's pretty unhealthy and will probably clog your arteries and kill you.
"So just get vegetable pizza, then!" Yeah... The broccoli is literally weighing this pizza down so it is sagging and falling apart and just bleh.
Great, glad all my toppings are now at the bottom of the box instead of actually on my slice of pizza.
And half of what you're ingesting is pure grease, anyway.
LOOK AT THIS. IT IS A LITERAL PUDDLE OF GREASE. YOU COULD GO SWIMMING IN IT, THAT'S HOW MUCH GREASE THERE IS.
Yum. Burnt crusts.
You just KNOW that when that cheese breaks apart the leftovers will get stuck on his chin or something.
When people try to spice up a pizza by adding some new toppings, it ends up as a nasty mound of unrelated foods that should only be eaten together in case of emergency.
Is there a reason pizza needs to experiment with conical forms?
So many things can go wrong. Maybe there's not enough cheese, so you're basically eating tomatoes on bread.
Or there's just too much dough.
Oh. That looks...cold.
Uh...no thanks.
Nope.
I don't even know why anyone would want to eat this pizza. IT DOESN'T LOOK TASTY.
And don't even try to defend the pizza they served back in high school.
Plus, even if pizza were the absolute most amazing food in the world and could do no wrong, it's waaaaayy overdone.
So boring.
"Oh...pizza again." — You at basically every social function ever.
Does the world really need a Bob Marley pizza? Really?
This is a pizza on a bike. There should not be pizza on a bike.
AND I AM SORRY NO ONE NEEDS A PIZZA THIS BIG.
In sum, even if pizza is good, it's just so ubiquitous that it's become the most boring food in the world.
