1. When, in the prologue, a demon-possessed girl is burned alive.
And the man who lit the flame was her father.
2. When Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) reads aloud from the Book of the Dead, even though someone has written “do not read aloud” in the book.
You can tell from his glasses and beard that he’s an academic, so he’s spent much more time reading musty books than watching horror movies. Bad call, buddy.
3. When the unleashed demon chases Mia (Jane Levy) and vomits a bloody vine, which enters her body through her nether regions.
Not quite the angry molesting tree from the original Evil Dead. More like an angry molesting hedge. Still, definitely effed up.
4. When Mia takes a shower to wash off the grime, and instead she’s scalded with boiling water.
Least. Sexy. Shower scene. Ever.
5. When Mia, fully possessed, vomits bile on her friend Olivia (Jessica Lucas).
Worst. Facial. Ever.
6. When Olivia subsequently slices off half her face with a shard of the bathroom mirror.
That is definitely taking exfoliation too far.
7. When Eric pulls a hypodermic needle from his face, just below his eye.
This is after Olivia stabs him with it multiple times.
8. When Mia slices her tongue in half with an Exacto knife by licking it…
…and then French-kisses Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore).
Natalie, by the way, is the girlfriend of Mia’s brother, David (Shiloh Fernandez). She and Mia had just met that day.
9. When Natalie then slices off her own, demon-infected arm with an electric meat carver.
10. When David buries Mia alive, and she taunts him as he’s doing it.
The next five entries involve some MAJOR PLOT TWISTS. So stop here if you don’t want to be spoiled any further.
Seriously, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
11. When Mia is brought back to life, and she is totally OK.
Her brother David just can’t bring himself to mutilate her body, so he buries her alive to break the curse, and then brings her completely unharmed body back from the dead with electric jolts from a car battery. It’s actually kinda moving.
12. When it starts raining blood.
Unfortunately, David’s efforts are in vain. The curse is fulfilled after David sacrifices himself to kill a demon-possessed Eric (just go with it), unleashing a torrent of blood, not to mention a bloodthirsty demon girl. Fun fact! The real-life forest where the film was shot was stained red for weeks after these sequences were filmed.
13. When Mia rips off her own arm after it’s trapped under a car.
127 Hours, eat your heart out.
14. When Mia slices the demon girl in half with a chainsaw.
…by shoving it down the demon girl’s mouth. She does this with one arm, remember.
15. When Ash shows up at the end.
What does he do? You’ll have to watch through the entire final credits to find out.