1. When you start criticizing fine details of gourmet food while stuffing your face with junk food.
2. When you go to six stores trying to find one of the mystery ingredients.
Argh! Black garlic! Where are you?!
3. When you know Maneet Chauhan will love the dish because it was spicy.
4. When it doesn’t bother you anymore that everyone is sweating into their food.
5. When you starting yelling at the TV whenever anyone goes to the ice cream machine.
6. When you know someone is in trouble because they’ve under/overcooked the protein.
7. When you base your enjoyment on the show purely on whether your favorite judge is in the panel.
Apparently, this person loves Geoffrey Zakarian and Alex Guarnaschelli.
8. When you know more about the mystery basket ingredients than the contestants.
9. When you delight whenever Scott Conant starts ranting about raw onions.
10. When you notice Ted growing resentful for not being able to taste any of the food.
11. When you repress your phobia of large knives to watch the show, EVEN AFTER SOMEONE CUTS THEMSELVES WHILE COOKING.
12. When you start referring to brand names by their generic names.
“Hey, does anyone want some ‘Sponge Cake Snacks’? No? What about a Twinkie?”
13. When you tsk the contestants for just crumbling cookies from the basket and putting them on top of the dessert.
But that would be a culinary feat in your own kitchen.
15. When you keep the lunch lady episode on your DVR whenever you want to be inspired/have a good cry.
16. When you just know Chris Santos is not going to like someone’s dish.
17. When you have a fool-proof method for predicting someone will be chopped.
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