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Here's What Pegging Is And How To Try It

Are you interested in trying some fun new butt stuff with your partner? Get all the info you need to go in prepared.

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You may have noticed that the sex showing up in mainstream pop culture lately has been getting a little more...interesting.

...and in their most recent season, the women of Broad City brought pegging into the discussion.

Which might raise some questions. For instance, what exactly is pegging? And what should you know if you're interested in trying it?

So glad you asked!

Pegging has a very specific definition: a woman anally penetrating a man while wearing a strap-on dildo.

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And although people may well have been doing this since ancient man first put a finger in his own butt, the term has only been around since Dan Savage held a contest in 2001 to come up with a word for that particular act.

While "punting" and "bobbing" were also in the running, "pegging" was the clear winner with 43% of the vote!

Why do it? Because anal play (i.e. butt stuff) can feel good to anyone.

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Not everyone loves anal play, or is even curious about it, but being interested in exploring it says nothing about your gender or sexual orientation. There are tons of nerve endings in the anus, and for many people, that means incorporating their butt into their sex life feels good.

And prostate stimulation makes anal sex especially pleasurable for some men.

There's a reason the prostate has earned the title of "the male G-spot." According to Tristan Taormino, sex expert and author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, prostate stimulation can lead to more intense, longer, and sometimes multiple orgasms for men.

Women: Be sensitive to the fact that there’s a lot of stigma around receiving anal sex, especially for straight men.

While it's becoming more and more mainstream for women to talk about receiving anal sex, pegging is only just starting to emerge into pop culture. Taormino explains to BuzzFeed Life, "There's a longstanding taboo around anal sex and anal pleasure in general in our society, but certainly there has been a lot more stigma around men who are straight identified."

If you want to try pegging, Taormino suggests you approach the subject with the caring and gentleness you will show your partner in bed. "A lot of guys are interested but have to get over a lot of cultural baggage that's associated with masculinity and masculine sexuality," she explains. "People have to feel out the situation and show their enthusiasm without pressuring anyone."

Men: Don’t be afraid to ask your partner about pegging.

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"Guys can be quite intimidated to even just bring it up," says Taormino. "What I want to say to those guys is: You've got to take the risk."

Taormino believes that having open conversations around sex and sexuality is important to any intimate relationship, and all couples should get to a point where they can discuss their desires and suggest new things to try without fear of judgement.

But both partners should be ready to take no for an answer.

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Whether you want to be on the giving end or the receiving end of pegging, it's possible that your partner may not be as interested as you are. And that's OK! Pegging is not for everyone, and no one should be pressured into participating in a sex act they are not completely comfortable with.

Some men may want to start exploring with anal play by themselves.

If, as a man, the idea of pegging is interesting but overwhelming, exploring anal pleasure on your own can be a good way of easing in. This gives space for you to figure out what you like without the added pressure of having to please your partner, says Taormino.

And before you jump into pegging, it's a good idea to start with other forms of anal play.

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The jump from no anal sex experience to pegging with a dildo is pretty big. Once a couple has decided to try pegging, they can start with other forms of anal play. Analingus, using fingers, and incorporating small toys will let you explore what feels good before diving all the way into pegging.

(Side note: Any toy that goes into a butt needs to have a wide base, or else it may get sucked in.)

Once both partners are ready to peg, these other forms of anal play can be used as foreplay to help relax the anus and make penetration of the dildo easier and more pleasurable.

Pegging can be as stimulating emotionally and psychologically as it is physically.

"We know that so much of sex for both men and women happens in our brain, and this is something that can feel more intense not only on a physical level, but emotionally and psychologically," says Taormino. Pegging allows both partners to explore power dynamics and new sex roles. "It's an entirely different point of view for both partners."

But it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with BDSM.

In porn, pegging is commonly portrayed as part of BDSM sex in which the woman is dominating, punishing, or humiliating the man. But in real life, pegging can fit into any couple's sex style.

It can be sweet and intimate, naughty, or rough. It can incorporate gender play, role play, or fantasy play. How you and your partner experience pegging is completely dependent on what you both like in your sex lives.

You’ll need the right equipment.

If both you and your partner decide you are ready and willing to try pegging, you'll need a harness (the "strap" part of a strap-on), a harness-compatible dildo, and lube. Harnesses and dildos both come at a wide variety of price points.

If you are not sure that pegging is going to be something you like, an inexpensive harness and dildo combination will allow you to try it a few times before committing to spending a lot of money.

Tantus sells a beginner kit for pegging that's also available on Amazon for under $50. A great thing about this kit is that it comes with both a small and medium-size dildo to try out.

Choose your lube based on your dildo.

Silicone-based lubes are great because they don't dry out as quickly as water-based ones. However, remember the golden rule of lube: Like dissolves like. So if you buy a silicone dildo, you shouldn't use a silicone-based lube, which could damage it; you'll need a water-based lube instead.

Not into leather harnesses? Not to worry!

When you mention strap-on dildos, what often comes to mind is a harness that would fit right in at a sex dungeon. If that's not your cup of tea, you'll be happy to know that harnesses now come in just about every style imaginable. Many even come with strategically placed pockets to insert bullet vibrators for the woman's pleasure.

SpareParts makes a great collection of beautiful fabric harnesses that are very comfortable, sturdy, and easy to wash.

Let the person who's being pegged pick out their own first dildo.

For those new to pegging, Taormino suggests letting the male partner pick out the first dildo you two will be using. This will allow him to choose one that he is comfortable having inside of him as well as seeing on his partner. Not every man is up for having sex with a realistic-looking penis, for example.

Practice safe sex.

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Jeanne Marrazzo, M.D., an infectious disease specialist at the University of Washington, warns that sex toys such as dildos can transmit STDs. Microtrauma to anal lining, which can happen with vigorous sex or too little lube, can put you at increased risk.

So, if you have a new partner, multiple partners, a non-monogamous partner, or a partner with an unknown disease status, be sure to use a condom over the dildo, change the condom between partners or body parts, and clean the dildo thoroughly after each use. Brown University Health Services has information on how to best clean your dildo based on the the material it's made from.

Be considerate; clean your butt!

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Even if the only thing that will be touching your butt is a dildo, be courteous and make sure you've recently showered or given your ass a good wipe down. Maybe even have your partner help you with this — it can be a sweet, intimate thing to share as you get ready to explore each other in a new way.

Doggie style can be a great first position.

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Anal sex of either gender is often shown as being done in the doggie-style position, and this can be a great first position to try. For a woman who is new to strap-on sex, it allows for stability and something to hold on to (your partner's hips), as you get used to the thrusting motion. For men, this can be a good first position because the angle of entry of the dildo will be pointed directly toward your prostate.

But you can feel free to try other positions, too.

If you're looking for a position that allows more intimacy, Taormino suggests trying a modified missionary position in which the male partner is on the bottom with his legs pulled up toward his head. "You can kiss each other; you can make eye contact; you can read body language really well; you can talk to each other."

For couples in which the man is much taller or larger than the woman, a spooning position allows you to find an angle that works best for you.

If you feel any pain, stop.

When you're new to any sex, especially anal sex, pain is there to tell you that something isn't right — usually that you are progressing too fast or you need more lube (or, probably, both).

Stop, pull out if necessary, and once your partner is ready, glob on some extra lube and start again slowly. You should also avoid using lubes with benzocaine, a topical anesthetic, as an ingredient. It numbs the anus, which can put you at risk for tearing.

When in doubt, communicate. A lot.

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Throughout every part of this process, from the first discussion to the post-coital snuggles, it's important that both partners open and actively communicate and listen. Both of you should discuss your excitement, your concerns, and anything you may be feeling or thinking about.

This will ensure that you're both comfortable, build trust between you as you explore something new, and give you the highest chance of having a great first experience with pegging.

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