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26 Funny Jokes That Are Definitely You At The Doctor's Office

"I hate when I go to the Doctors office thinking I'm dying and they tell me I have a cold."

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1.

me: im tired all the time doctor: you need to eat better & keep a sleep schedule me: pump my body full of stimulants until i die, you say?

2.

Why do ppl try to make conversation in the doctors office waiting room I clearly am not here to make friends

3.

i just walked into the doctors office and they're playing torn, did i ask for tears

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4.

Little girls just laughed at me in the doctors office because I was trying to sleep... jokes on you you have to get a shot

5.

Doctor: "Do you smoke or drink alcohol?" Parent: "No, he does not" me:

6.

*at doctors office* Doctor: your heart rate is slow, do you run a lot? Me: ahahahahahahahaha hahahaha hahahahahahahhah...that's a good one

7.

"when people say different color bell peppers taste different" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically

8.

optometrist said to wear sunglasses and my doctor said to wear a jacket who do i see about a medicinal motorcycle and guitar prescription

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9.

i turn nineteen in two weeks and i still call my mom when filling out paperwork at the doctors office

10.

Some guy in the doctors office just said to me "wow you sound so sick".........why the fuck else would i be here

11.

Doctor : can you show me from where the pain is coming ? Me : shows the message that has been read without reply 💔

12.

Doctor: You're dying. Me: Haha, aren't we all, doc? Doctor: ... Me: Oh. You mean imminently.

13.

The longer I sit in this doctors office, the more I know I don't want children.

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14.

Me leaving the doctors office after getting a shot

15.

I hate when I go to the Doctors office thinking I'm dying and they tell me I have a cold.

16.

When my doctors office asks me to schedule my checkup in 6 months. Girl I don't even know my plans next week.

17.

After how long of a wait is it appropriate to ask for your copay back? #DoctorsOffice

18.

i asked the doctors office to put on Spongebob in the waiting room. they didn't.

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19.

Nurse at Doctors Office: "Are you still 115lbs?" Me: LOLZZZZZZZZZZ

20.

Doctor: I think you'll need a shot Me: AYYYYY Doctor: AYYYYY *brings out tequila*

21.

my mom wanted me to get her a magazine at the doctors office so I gave her a @Cosmopolitan magazine

22.

DOCTOR: Have you been stressed lately? ME: Sometimes I have to drive next to trucks on my way to work DOCTOR: ME: BIG trucks

23.

Sex on fire is both a Kings of Leon song, and an option on the std pain assessment chart at the doctors office.

24.

[Doctor's Office] Dr: I'm not going to candy-coat this.... Me: *misses bad results of test because I'm imagining a coat made of Skittles*

25.

Me: "I was taking ibuprofen and that didn't help" Doctor: "I'm gonna prescribe ibuprofen to help okay? :)" Me:

26.

Been in this doctors office for over an hour.. like c'mon I've got Jell-O shots to make.

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