80 Signs You're An INTJ

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator: The Mastermind. And you feel it.

1. You feel like an alien visiting a distant planet

it's equal parts amusing and disenchanting.

2. You didn't have to look up disenchanting just now

because you read the same way alcoholics binge and verbosity is a given.

3. Meta-judging

Either you get it or you don't.

4. The prospect of research gets you excited

Bring the knowledge!

5. Delusional people bring out your misanthropy

I refuse to believe anything which could make you bliss out so will end well.

6. You come across as aloof on first meeting

or every meeting.

7. Since appeals to emotion leave you cold

Why should I invest in this with feelings? Give me reasons, dammit!

8. You have a secret rebellious streak

enticed by possibility. Blame the N.

9. You have immutable principles

owing to your somewhat broader perspective.

10. You're blunt when you respect someone

and sharper when you do not.

11. You habitually converse in layers of sarcasm, lofty reference and riddle

to duly note whom appreciates it.

12. Your pet peeve in others is incompetency

and you abhor the phrase 'pet peeve'.

You can be cruel to those you perceive as imbeciles or wilfully ignorant.

13. You keep expectations low and downgrade accordingly

Yes, non-INTJs, you read that correctly.

14. Your pragmatism can be scary to sensualists

"What do you mean, how?"

15. When you decide on a course you are unwavering

To the point of insanity.

16. You are hasty in doling out consequences

Perhaps too hasty.

17. You have a low tolerance for the norm

Learn to deal a bit.

18. You experiment with social taboos to see what will happen

Curb that shit. Don't tell me you can't, liar.

19. At least try to be less smug about the fallout

Visibly smug?

20. Disrupting formal groups for personal amusement isn't good for your career

You're going to ignore that, aren't you?

21. Suffice to say you're a bad influence

From the perspective of the other guy.

22. Your truly losing an argument is the stuff of legend

Riddle me this: Why do people start them regardless? You enjoy them as a learning process and your pride won't allow you to back down.

23. "Technically-"

Watch them run out of good points and make with the insults.

I must go upright and vital and speak the rude truth in all ways. ~ Emerson

24. Finding a point of agreement in a discussion is buried treasure for you

Mutual recognition feels!

25. This systematic approach gives you an uncanny ability to resolve conflicts

26. You almost never use it for that

AU fun ftw.

Non-INTJ translation: I wonder what would happen if I didn't intervene?

27. Your history is kinda mysterious

and it's bloody staying that way.

28. At parties

Weirdly, especially when you love those present.

29. But you can rock a corner

The better to watch you in.

30. Small talk is an endurance sport

This is why we avoid meeting new people.

31. "What have you been reading?"

The entire list?

32. You never look embarassing somehow

even falling over or silly dancing look like a knowing injoke.

Is it savoir faire? Sprezzatura? Éclat?

33. Your thinking face looks angry

34. Your angry face looks serene

35. You have an incredibly long fuse with a bomb at the end

Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man. ~ John Dryden

36. Consequently, people find you hard to read

37. Your business face ensures no one tries to fuck with you

The word evil has been applied to it at least once.

38. You snatch victory from the jaws of defeat

39. You can pass for charismatic

It eventually wears down with your patience.

40. You obsessively admire and respect true intelligence

and search for elements of their method to incorporate into your own plans.

41. You are forthright in conceding your expertise

which can make you appear arrogant but if asked respectfully, you're equally forthright in conceding knowledge gaps.

42. You demand respect for your expertise

Attempts to humiliate you by insisting you pass impromptu interrogation will result in abrupt humiliating and instructive traumatizing of the crude idiot.

43. How do you make an INTJ enemy?

Underestimate them.

INTJs can become ruthlessly Machiavellian when they feel their intellect is unappreciated, their loved ones are threatened or wronged.

44. You are a quick thinker and find slowing down for other's benefit tedious

yet going through the motions make you appear mercurial and irritated.

45. There are times ...

with irrational protocols...

with self-contradictors...

with misinformed moralizers...

with politically-motivated scientism fans...

with magical thinkers...

and people who cannot see the consequences of their ideas

Their evidence-denying hypocrisy makes you shut down, cut them off and retreat somewhere you can recover from the contaminating force of their stupidity in peace. To an untrained eye, this makes you the bad guy.

46. People ask your advice constantly

47. The things you predict constantly come true

because they ignored you.

48. You treat these people with contempt forever after

49. Your mind is an endless source of entertainment

My mind to me a kingdom is;
Such present joys therein I find,
That it excels all other bliss
That earth affords or grows by kind:
Though much I want that most would have,
Yet still my mind forbids to crave. ~ Sir Edward Dyer

50. You have a slightly addictive personality

51. You have numerous creative outlets

At least one work is a parody.

52. Your close friends know to steer you away from bookshops

53. You believe rationality is the key to the universe

54. You perceive the world as a sequence of interlocking systems

each with its own delicious rules

and you devour details when calculating something specific

55. You are a natural-born optimizer

56. You're on a quest to tinker with and transform the world

Been shifting around all the variables and yup, we should just make you Master of the Universe.

57. You pull off daring moves

58. You know Life is a game of strategy

and spoiler: even when you win, you die.

59. You give up blending

when you realize the people you're emulating are equally clueless.

60. You perceive the profundity of the mundane

and can dredge the truth from completely contrary sources of information.

61. Your sense of fun seems bizarre to outsiders

62. You have apathy where offense usually is

Why waste the energy?

63. You apply your brains to lazy ends

64. When you like something you observe it

This may have disturbing consequences if you like a person.

65. You avoid deepening relationships without good reason

This concerns well-meaning non-INTJ friends.

66. Being in love terrifies you

You have more red flags than a bull tamer.

67. As does the merest prospect of emotional dependence

68. Your sensitive disposition is constantly on the lookout for rejection

Sincere flattery is greatly appreciated and repaid in kind with interest.

69. You become formal and polite when hurt in public

shrinking back into your mind's sanctuary to tend your wounds.

You never let it show.

70. You go quiet and become hesitant when hurt in private

trying to deduce the superior course of reaction.

Your pride will stubbornly refuse to allow other proof of injury and redouble efforts to push away the offending person, never to be forgiven again.

71. When you trust someone, silence is golden

We don't need to talk the entire time.

If you promise to keep a secret, you will take it to your grave.

72. Your closest friends have passed a list of secret tests

73. Your close friends = Friends who have seen you cry

74. Duty is something you sign up for or rebel against

There is no middle ground. Intensely devoted or intensely repulsed.

75. You resent being controlled above all else

76. You're overjoyed to find precise answers

77. When INTJs find a perfect solution

78. You relish having the last word or lasting impression

79. You're difficult to impress

It surprises you when it happens.

80. You enjoyed the INTJ-indulgent length of this list

You have the strong temptation to fact-check/correct

I don't mind.