On Friday the UK government raised the terrorist threat level from "substantial" to "severe".
Unfortunately, because the internet's like that, people struggled to take such a vaguely worded warning seriously. And suddenly the internet was flooded with people making up their own terror threat levels. It went something like this.
1.
Threat Level: Reduced-to-clear egg mayo sandwich
2.
Threat Level: Godzilla
3.
Threat level: Your Mum's going through your pictures on your phone.
4.
Threat Level: Baked Alaska currently out of the freezer
5.
Threat Level : Seven missed calls from your Mum
6.
Threat level: Now much higher, Mistress. And, the Doctor is involved.
7.
Threat level: entering seventh hour of fourteen hour shift and hangover is refusing to shift. Bleak.
8.
Threat level: Pocket dialling your ex twice in a row at 11:26pm on a Friday.
9.
Threat level raised from karaoke to non-ironic karaoke
10.
THREAT LEVEL: Chronic shortage of cat videos on Youtube.
11.
Threat level: TOP BANTZ
12.
Threat level: glanced at watch in pub & realised last tube has gone, will have to spend ꌰ on a taxi & "won't be out late" claim in tatters
13.
Threat level: that might be the back of your ex's head you glimpsed on the other side of the crowded bar by the loos, and you need the loo.
14.
Threat level: fifteen missed calls
15.
Threat level: "didn't you get my Facebook message?"
16.
Threat level:
17.
Threat level: Java update.
18.
Threat Level- Former Radio One disc jockey.
19.
Threat Level : Katie Hopkins has a new prime time TV show.
20.
Threat level: you go to a gig, the singer announces: "we're only going to be playing new songs tonight".
21.
Threat Level: Ed Balls