1.
I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
2.
Gym Instructor: So what’s your favourite machine to use here at the gym? Me: The Vending Machine
3.
Age 20: Gotta get ripped for Spring Break! Age 25: Exercise reduces stress! Age 35: My doctor says I'll die immediately if I don't do this
4.
Waldo asked me to spot him at the gym. Couldn't do it.
5.
Do people who say, "Exercise helps me relax" know about not exercising?
6.
Cute girl at the gym said to me "don't u just hate seeing old naked people in the locker room" I got nervous and responded "ehhh it's ok"
7.
Me: [Eating pizza for breakfast] Gym nerd: [pouring 8 flourescent powders into a gym bottle] I dunno how u can put that shit into your body
8.
How long are you supposed to rest in between sets at the gym? Like 6 months?
9.
DOCTOR: Do you do any aerobic exercise? ME: Huh? DOCTOR: Like where you sweat [flashback to me sweating while eating KFC] ME: Yes
10.
I hate it when Facebook is down and I have to call people to ask how many miles they ran that day.
11.
I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James.
12.
let's calm down guy jogging from the gym parking lot to the gym
13.
My running form could be described as “drunk woman slowly being chased by no one”
14.
[2 birds at the gym] "Building up your wings today, Jeff?" "Nah, I'll be working my pecks" *they hi-5 as best as birds can*
15.
*puts on sports bra* Well, that's enough exercise for today...
16.
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and seeing firmer muscles in just 4 weeks
17.
It's sad to walk by a gym and see all those fit dudes who just let their dad bods go
18.
I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
19.
I'm a real gym rat (i go there at night and eat their garbage)
20.
(vomits while dioing pushups at the gym and resists every attempt from professional trainers to stop me from continuing)
21.
Kicked out of the gym for constantly yelling MAY I APPROACH THE BENCH YOUR HONOR every time I go to the weight lifting station.
22.
FITNESS TIP: NEVER STOP PUSHING YOURSELF. SOME SAY 8 HOURS OF SLEEP IS ENOUGH. WHY STOP THERE? WHY NOT 9? WHY NOT 10? STRIVE FOR GREATNESS
23.
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