1. Your life is now divided into the two weeks before ovulation and the two weeks after.
2. And during the "after" weeks, you'll become convinced that every single burp or fart is definitely a sign of pregnancy.
3. You buy pregnancy tests in bulk, but still never have enough.
4. And the single line that used to be such a relief is now your mortal enemy.
5. You'll willingly give up some of the things you love most, like alcohol and coffee.
6. You start scheduling everything around your menstrual cycle.
7. Sex becomes just another prescription.
8. Even when you do try to spice it up, everything just reminds you of ultrasound equipment.
9. You can handle this:
10. And this:
11. But not this:
12. And you'd rather get a jury duty summons than a baby shower invite.
13. You talk about "giving a sample" like it's not weird at all.
14. Your partner knows more about your hormone and follicle counts than they do about sports stats or current events.
15. At first all the confusing acronyms on infertility message boards might as well be another language...
16. ...but once you’ve been TTC long enough, every 2WW is an opportunity to Google DPO symptoms until you POS and get your BFN or BFP!
17. You will eventually resort to trying the weird Internet tips you once dismissed as nonsense.
18. But you will smack the next person who suggests the basic tips you left behind months/years ago.
19. Same goes for the next person who says it will happen if you just chill out.
20. And the one with the anecdote about that pregnant granny who did all the acupuncture.
21. You’re as terrified that it won’t happen as you are that this will:
22. You've faced massive ethical decisions, sometimes on the fly.
