People Are Sharing Popular Self-Care Tips That Could Actually Do A Lot Of Damage

    "Positive vibes only."

    I'm all for treating ourselves kindly and taking the time to do so. However, some advice seems self-affirming and constructive but can be harmful when taken at face value.

    So redditor u/_redhead_in_red posed the question, "What's some popular self-care/self-love advice that is actually really toxic?" and...the web had some answers.

    Check out the top responses below.

    Warning: This post contains mentions of sexual assault.

    1. "Positive vibes only."

    A person in jeans and a striped t-shirt painting a smiley face on a wall

    2. "If they can't handle my worst, they don't deserve my best."

    "Funny how those people are always at their 'worst.'"


    3. "The 'how not to give a fuck' nonsense."

    A man in bed wearing a tank top, chains, and sunglasses, yelling into a phone and gesturing with his hand

    4. "Get a mani-pedi and do a face mask."

    Woman sitting in a spa room with a face mask on and cucumber slices over her eyes, hair wrapped up in a towel

    5. "Do whatever feels right."


    "'OK': All serial killers."


    "There’s also the problem that sometimes we have to go through some unpleasant things in the short term to get worthwhile benefits in the long term. If you always avoid things that make you uncomfortable, you’re probably stunting your own growth."


    6. "Treat yourself."

    7. "If people don't like you for who you are, that's their problem."

    "No, sometimes you’re the asshole; 9/10, the common denominator rule stands."


    8. "Don't be sad; you have everything you need to be happy."

    "Even if there’re a few happy things in your life, you don’t need to be ashamed about feeling sad or depressed."


    9. "Don't change yourself!"

    Person with closely cropped hair and closed eyes revealing colorful, bold eyeshadow

    10. "Follow your heart."

    A repeating pattern of heart likes, like from Instagram

    11. "Don't be a victim."

    "Had someone tell me not to let my wife feel like a victim after being sexually assaulted.

    "I hear people say this a lot because they think it helps real victims feel less like one, but people need to process things. They can't just run through the healing process by pretending it didn't happen."


    12. "Always trust your feelings."

    Man leaning out the driver's seat of a car shouting and pointing

    13. "Be who you are."

    14. "Cut off anyone who doesn't bring you peace."

    A person holding the peace sign with her nails painted red against a mint colored call

    15. "Show them what they're missing."

    "No. Just do better for yourself."


    16. "Man up, keep it together, be strong."

    A man in a T-shirt and jeans sitting in a seat, tears running down his face, with the hands of the two people sitting on either side of him patting his shoulder and holding his hand

    17. "Guilt is a wasted emotion."

    Close-up of a gavel being held by a judge-type holding a book, about to strike a sound block. Golden scales of justice sit on a table in the background

    18. "Stop texting people first to see who your friends are."

    Over-the-shoulder view of someone sitting cross-legged holding a large phone/tablet in their hands that is totally blank

    19. "This is a cure (shows a picture of the woods). This is poison (shows a picture of medication)."

    "Shut the fuck up — some people need antidepressants to function. Going for a walk in the woods will not just magically cure your depression."


    20. "You don't owe anybody anything."

    "OK, it’s one thing if we’re talking about an abusive relationship, but this mentality seems to promote childish, conflict-avoidant behavior masked as 'self-care,' aka 'good vibes only.'"


    "Ignoring people who care about you or being rude to people shouldn’t be encouraged, IMO. You can take time to yourself without being an asshole or cutting people off without explanation."


    21. "You have to love yourself before someone else will love you."

    Two people lounging on an couch, one kissing the other on the forehead

    The takeaway is pretty much to love and respect yourself as you are able, and not to forget compassion for others, too! Is there some self-care tip or affirmation that drives you crazy? Let us know in the comments!

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. H/T: r/AskReddit!