Sex Q&A: Is My Wet And Messy Fetish Safe?

    How messy is too messy?

    Welcome to the new BuzzFeed Sex Q&A where you can ask us your awkward, confusing, gross, embarrassing, or thought-provoking questions, and we'll provide answers from leading sexual health experts. Have a question about sex or sexual health? Send it to

    This week's question:

    Hello BuzzFeed,

    First things first, I enjoy these Q&A's a lot, since I am not very experienced in the area, and I feel as if they help wonders :) Thank you.

    I have sparked an interest in WAM (wet and messy fetish), which may involve different food/sloppy items poured/smashed/thrown at people. I would like to try it, but I am afraid if, as a woman, it might be dangerous to try.

    Would playing with food nearby my vagina cause any harm? Such as yeast infections? If it might, would avoiding those areas and only sticking to playing with the face/breasts/feet be better? Or is it still dangerous?

    I've seen several people into this fetish, and they seem to be alright. I'm aware it might cause eye irritation, but that depends on the person and how they deal with it.

    Additionally, would using a food item as lube be alright?


    Hey, Anonymous! Thanks so much for sending along your question. To help answer it, we spoke with Dr. Jen Gunter, board-certified OB-GYN, and Mistress Shae Flanigan, BDSM educator and alternative lifestyle coach. Here's what they had to say:

    First let's talk about what wet and messy fetish (WAM) is and what it entails.

    SO here are a few safety precautions to keep in mind whenever food or other substances are going near your naked body:

    And regarding food as lube...

    Here are a few more helpful tips for safe sploshing:

    1. It doesn't always have to involve sex.

    Keep in mind that WAM and sploshing are sometimes done separately from sex (just like other aspects of BDSM), so you don't need to do them together if you don't want, says Flanigan. Also, this may cut down on opportunities for foods to get near your genitals.

    2. Typically there's a giver and a receiver, and the giver won't usually get as messy.

    "If no sex is involved, the giver will definitely end up with food on them, but it generally will not end up in their groin," says Flanigan. "If sex is involved, people are going to end up with food products absolutely everywhere."

    3. What you play with is entirely up to you and your partner.

    There's no prescribed shopping list for WAM or sploshing. "Like anything in the world of BDSM, you always build it around the person you're playing with," says Flanigan. So think about what foods you like, what textures and sensations you like, what foods or smells you hate, etc. If you're ever not cool with something, speak up.

    So to sum up: Yes, you can get irritations and infections this way if you're not careful. But taking the right precautions should keep you safe.

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