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15 Things That Definitely Aren't Consent

A primer for anyone who isn't totally 100% sure.

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1. The fact that you two have already had sex.

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2. Carrying condoms.

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Or using another kind of birth control.

4. Dating someone.

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Or even being married to someone, tbh.

6. Looking really freaking hot.

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7. Wearing anything that might be considered ~suggestive~.

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9. Having an erection.

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Arousal is a physiological response. It doesn't always coincide with desire, and it doesn't always mean that you want to have sex with this person / in this moment / at all.

10. Spending the night together.

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Like inviting someone to sleep over or crashing at their place.

11. Saying yes while drunk or high.

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If there wouldn't be consent while sober, then it's not really consensual.

12. Convincing someone that it's a good idea.

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13. Not ~technically~ saying no.

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14. Openly and obviously flirting.

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15. Or even hooking up in other ways.

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Here's what consent actually is:

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It's verbal, enthusiastic, sober, unequivocal, never coerced, and not assumed. Consent isn't something that carries over from one act to the next — it's an ongoing conversation, an open line of communication about what you like and what you want to do right this second. Consent can be boring or awkward or not really sexy, but consent is mandatory.

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