Health

17 Reasons You Never Need To Wear Condoms Again

Because what’s the point? WARNING: Extremely NSFW images ahead.

Why would anyone ever wear condoms when condoms are obviously the worst?

1. This doesn’t look so bad, does it?

CDC / Via phil.cdc.gov

(Gonorrhea, FYI)

2. And neither does this.

CDC / Robert E. Sumpter / Via phil.cdc.gov

That’s a perforated hard palate from congenital syphilis infection, in case you were wondering.

3. Stage two syphilis doesn’t even seem that noticeable.

CDC / Robert Sumpter / Via phil.cdc.gov

Secondary syphilis infection.

4. And these perineum lesions don’t seem that terrible.

CDC / Joyce Ayers / Via phil.cdc.gov

From the CDC’s description: “Also known as ‘condyloma lata’, this photograph depicts the appearance of what was determined to be secondary syphilitic lesions on a patient’s perineum. Condyloma lata lesions are smooth, moist, and flat, while condylomata acuminatum lesions, though similar, are cauliflower-like, dry, and bulky respectively.”

5. So, rates of chlamydia are higher today than in the ’90s — nothing to worry about.

CDC / Via cdc.gov

6. Not seeing what the issue is here.

CDC / Susan Lindsley / Via phil.cdc.gov

Penis and scrotum lesions from syphilis, during the most infectious stage of the disease.

7. Seriously, what’s so bad about a big ol’ penis lesion?

CDC / Joe Miller, Dr. Cornelio Arevalo, Venezuela / Via phil.cdc.gov

Thanks, Granuloma inguinale!

8. Vulva and anal warts = NBD.

CDC / Via phil.cdc.gov

File this one under syphilis also.

9. So there were over 1.4 million cases of chlamydia in the U.S. in 2013? Doesn’t seem so bad.

CDC / Via cdc.gov

10. Looks exciting!

CDC / Via phil.cdc.gov

From the CDC’s description: “Due to the accompanying inflammation brought on by the Neisseria gonorrhoeae infection, the foreskin becomes adherent to the glans penis resulting in a condition known as phimosis, and cannot be retracted in order to expose the entire glans.”

11. Gonorrhea and syphilis together could be a fun and character-building experience, if you think about it.

CDC / Susan Lindsley / Via phil.cdc.gov

Glass half full, people.

12. Chlamydia of the mouth? WHOOO CARES.

Oztürk O, Seven H - Case Rep Otolaryngol (2012) / Via openi.nlm.nih.gov

13. Chlamydia in your eyeball? Sounds like a pretty sweet party icebreaker, TBH.

Rajak SN, Collin JR, Burton MJ - Surv Ophthalmol (2012)

14. Nothing to see here.

AVERT / Via avert.org

This chart shows the estimated new diagnoses of HIV per 100,000 people, by age, in 2011. The age ranges with the highest rates of new HIV diagnoses were among people in their twenties.

15. Whatevs, you guys. A lil’ herpes never hurt anyone.

CDC / Dr. M. F. Rein; Susan Lindsley / Via phil.cdc.gov

16. Not seeing what the big deal is?

CDC/ Dr. http://N.J. Flumara.; Dr. Gavin Hart / Via phil.cdc.gov

Just some more herpes, nothing to see here.

17. Yeah, and?

BuzzFeed

Antibiotic resistant super-gonorrhea, shmantibiotic resistant super-gonorrhea.

Remember, there’s really no point in wearing condoms.

FYI, in case it was not clear: This post is meant to be sarcastic. Condoms are actually hugely important for your health and well-being — for starters, they lower your risk of contracting and spreading sexually transmitted diseases; they’re also 98% effective at preventing pregnancy with perfect use and 82% effective at preventing pregnancy with imperfect use. Condoms don’t prevent the spread of all sexually transmitted diseases (for instance, herpes and HPV spread through skin-to-skin contact, which can happen even if you wear a condom), but they can reduce your risk. See more information about how useful and awesome and important condoms are here.

update

Syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are all treatable in most cases, and can be cured. If you think you might have one of these diseases, definitely get tested. Herpes is a virus and can’t be cured — but with the right treatment can be maintained and controlled.

Bottom line: Many, many people contract and live with STDs. The best thing you can do for your health is to protect yourself, and know your STD status so you can get the medical treatment and attention you need.

correction

The infection pictured in item number seven is Granuloma inguinale. An earlier version of this post incorrectly identified the infection.

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