Being a doctor must come with seeing some surprising things. Well, u/Historical-Lake718 recently asked R/AskReddit: "Doctors of Reddit, What was the most craziest thing you found in a patient?" And we thought we'd share some of the wildest responses.
🚨Warning – This post contains injury details and sensitive content. 🚨
1. "Anesthesiologist here. Few years ago, we admitted a young guy (think he was 15) for a surgery consisting of retrieving a huge black dildo in his descending colon.
"The thing is, the battery was still on and the mamba was vibrating when I had to start my induction and told the guy 'think about something pleasant'. To get something up there (at least 25cm from the anus), he admitted after all that he used another dildo to push it that far.
Fortunately, the surgeon managed to get the beast out of him without cutting through his abdomen; he inserted his whole arm and managed to grip it from its base (the area is naturally well-lubricated). I won't say here what the surgeon said afterwards. He was kinda mad to be out of his bed at 2am to fill his arm up some teenager's butthole."
2. "Not a doctor, but a former Navy Corpsman. I had a patient come in a few weeks after shooting himself in the femur with a nail from a nail gun."
"He was on the roof and started to lose his balance, and apparently instinctively placed the nail gun on his leg to keep himself upright. He fell off the roof, pulled out the nail with a pair of vice grips, but couldn’t get all of it. He thought it wasn’t a big deal until one day he was casually walking and his femur snapped in two."
3. "X-ray tech here. We had one where a patient stuffed a bottle of maple syrup up his butt, and you could tell the brand was Aunt Jemima from the X-ray."
4. "I was having drinks with an ex and her RN friend. The nurse told us a girl had recently came in with a perfume bottle shoved so far up her ass they had to surgically remove it."
5. "My uncle is a doctor, he told me about the time he found a fork and knife inside a patient. How it got there or through which orifice it came in through I was never told, nor do I want to think about it. BUT I know that he doesn’t like to tell the story."
6. "A few years ago, when I first started working in the ER, a patient came in with severe rectal pain and bleeding. Upon inspection, he had large and visible haemorrhoids. So the reasonable assumption was that he had an internal one that burst and was the source of the pain and discomfort right?"
"Well turns out the patient had been experimenting with a gaping device and was placing wine glasses inside his anal cavity... The device was cheap and plastic, which when he was startled by his mother walking into the room caused him to flinch and flex his sphincter closed and broke the device and the wine glass inside. They managed to get the device out of him but had to come into the ER to have the shards removed."
7. "Not a DR but I worked at a hospital as a phlebotomist. One night a man came in with a toy plastic broccoli up his butt, like from a kids' play kitchen. He was the talk of the hospital for a couple of days."
9. "Three limes. One on top of each other encased on a condom. Unfortunately not a doctor, just the friend who delivered the lime man to the ER."
10. "Woman came into the ER complaining of severe abdominal pain. On ultrasound, they found two rolls of camera film in her vagina. She looked shocked and said that she had put them up there four months prior and 'must have forgot to take them back out.'"
11. "Couch cushion, a single connect four-piece, and half a roll of pennies (different patients)."
12. "A whole butternut squash inside a mid-50-year-old male. He was blue-lighted in escorted in with his wife."
