9 Things No One Tells You About Breakups

It's never easy, but sometimes it's the little things that help you get by.

1. You don't have to listen to other people's advice.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

I know that's contradictory to this entire post, but one important thing to note is that you'll probably get a lot of advice. Some of that advice may stick with you or help you in the moment, and that's great, but there may be some that doesn't feel meaningful at all. For instance, "It'll feel better in time." So? Right now I feel like garbage! Just know, you have the right to acknowledge this advice and then totally disregard it.

2. But if you do need advice, don't feel bad about seeking it out.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

All that being said, those closest to you do want to help, and you shouldn't feel like you're bothering them by expressing your feelings or asking for help or advice. Other people know how hard this process is, and they want to be there for you. You can reach out to as many people as you want. Most people you encounter will be empathetic, and many can tell when someone else is suffering.

3. It's all about you right now.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

This is your time to heal. You don't have to please anyone. You don't have to show up to hangouts if you don't feel like it (this is true even if you're not going through a breakup). You don't have to apologize for how you're feeling. You're grieving.

4. It's okay to wallow.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

It's healthy and normal to feel deeply sad. You've lost a part of yourself. You may have unanswered questions, and unfortunately, those questions may go unanswered forever. Slowly, you'll stop wondering. But for now, it's perfectly, totally, completely okay to cry your guts out. Weep. Sob. Grief doesn't operate on a schedule. You'll be angry one moment, sad the next, everything bleeding into itself, and that's all natural. Cry in public! That's okay too. Do you know how many times I've done that, like, in my life? Because I don't!

5. Ridding yourself of reminders is hard, but it helps.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

This obviously isn't easy. In fact, it seems a bit harsh. But if/when you're ready, removing items from your home or erasing photos of the person (or putting them all on a flash drive if you don't want it to be permanent) can be so healing. It sucks, but the saying "out of sight, out of mind" holds true. After it's all done, you can begin to feel like your own person again, unattached from them.

6. Breaking ties on social media can make you feel better, too.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

If you're someone who uses social media apps often, seeing your ex pop up on your timeline might feel like a stab in the gut. It could lead you down a frustrating path of wondering how they're doing, what they're doing, and everything else about their existence without you. Unfollowing will empower you to be free of those thoughts.

7. It's normal to feel sad at random moments.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

I can be so frustrating to have a sudden burst of sadness after several days, weeks, or months of feeling happy, but it's normal, and there's no need to beat yourself up over it. Have a big cry. Chances are, after you let it all out, you'll be able to move on with your day.

8. You WILL get through this.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

This is probably one of those cliché pieces of advice I mentioned above, but it's so true. It feels like you'll feel miserable forever, but you won't. I promise. You will come through the tunnel to see the light again. You will feel like yourself again. You will become a different person after this – so much stronger, even wiser from the experience; a force to be reckoned with. This is a fact.

9. New and exciting things will come into your life because of this.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

Even more cliché, right? But this is where I'm at. Yes, I still get sad, especially if I'm very tired or haven't eaten or I'm on my period. But overall, I feel optimistic. I'm glad this person dumped me, because they set me free. I adopted a dog who makes me so happy every day. I have already gone to fun events I never would have in that relationship, and I want to do more. I feel good on my own. I think about what new and exciting things I can do with my free time. For the first time in my adult life, my main goal isn't dating. If I had continued on the same path with that person, it would have just gotten drastically worse. Maybe you'll find a new hobby or discover a talent you never realized you had. Maybe you'll do things you've never done before, or travel the world. Whatever it is, you've been given the gift of freedom. You will come to know this feeling. It may not be now, or in a month, but it will come.