1. Because actual euphoria is overrated.
2. And who wants to part with belly fat?
3. Speaking of health, running helps you live longer, which is the worst.
4. Because maybe being less tense, angry, and bummed out isn't all it's cracked up to be?
5. Also you'd have to spend time outdoors in nature, which is 😴.
6. Not to mention pounding the pavement through [YAWN] cities.
7. It takes away time you could be hanging with friends.
8. Or your kids.
9. Or your best buddy.
10. And watching yourself get fitter and faster isn't that cool.
11. Also it takes a toll on the body so you can't really do it when you're older.
12. You already have enough self-esteem thank you very much.
13. And better sleep is overrated tbh.
14. Because a carb-y meal before a long run doesn't sound delicious.
15. Same with post-run snacks.
16. Aaand post-race celebration meals.
17. Because crossing a finish line doesn't sound like it would be that great a feeling.
18. Also waking up early sucks.
19. And there's no enjoyment to be found in running in the evenings either.
20. You don't need a little extra time to yourself to think, zone out, or listen to podcasts.
21. Beating your own 5K time is whatever.
22. Same with finishing your first half-marathon.
23. And running takes way too long.
24. Like there's literally no way to fit it in.
25. And you need too much stuff to even get started.
26. Most importantly it's straight up no fun at all.
27. So just don't do it.
28. Seriously.
29. Stay away!
Social image via
Liliana Fuchs / Creative Commons