1. You feel like an alien visiting a distant planet
it’s equal parts amusing and disenchanting.
2. You didn’t have to look up disenchanting just now
because you read the same way alcoholics binge and verbosity is a given.
Either you get it or you don’t.
4. The prospect of research gets you excited
Bring the knowledge!
5. Delusional people bring out your misanthropy
I refuse to believe anything which could make you bliss out so will end well.
6. You come across as aloof on first meeting
or every meeting.
7. Since appeals to emotion leave you cold
Why should I invest in this with feelings? Give me reasons, dammit!
8. You have a secret rebellious streak
enticed by possibility. Blame the N.
9. You have immutable principles
owing to your somewhat broader perspective.
10. You’re blunt when you respect someone
and sharper when you do not.
11. You habitually converse in layers of sarcasm, lofty reference and riddle
to duly note whom appreciates it.
12. Your pet peeve in others is incompetency
and you abhor the phrase ‘pet peeve’.
You can be cruel to those you perceive as imbeciles or wilfully ignorant.
13. You keep expectations low and downgrade accordingly
Yes, non-INTJs, you read that correctly.
14. Your pragmatism can be scary to sensualists
“What do you mean, how?”
15. When you decide on a course you are unwavering
To the point of insanity.
16. You are hasty in doling out consequences
Perhaps too hasty.
17. You have a low tolerance for the norm
Learn to deal a bit.
18. You experiment with social taboos to see what will happen
Curb that shit. Don’t tell me you can’t, liar.
19. At least try to be less smug about the fallout
20. Disrupting formal groups for personal amusement isn’t good for your career
You’re going to ignore that, aren’t you?
21. Suffice to say you’re a bad influence
From the perspective of the other guy.
22. Your truly losing an argument is the stuff of legend
Riddle me this: Why do people start them regardless? You enjoy them as a learning process and your pride won’t allow you to back down.
Watch them run out of good points and make with the insults.
I must go upright and vital and speak the rude truth in all ways. ~ Emerson
24. Finding a point of agreement in a discussion is buried treasure for you
Mutual recognition feels!
25. This systematic approach gives you an uncanny ability to resolve conflicts
26. You almost never use it for that
AU fun ftw.
Non-INTJ translation: I wonder what would happen if I didn’t intervene?
27. Your history is kinda mysterious
and it’s bloody staying that way.
28. At parties
Weirdly, especially when you love those present.
29. But you can rock a corner
The better to watch you in.
30. Small talk is an endurance sport
This is why we avoid meeting new people.
31. “What have you been reading?”
The entire list?
32. You never look embarassing somehow
even falling over or silly dancing look like a knowing injoke.
Is it savoir faire? Sprezzatura? Éclat?
33. Your thinking face looks angry
34. Your angry face looks serene
35. You have an incredibly long fuse with a bomb at the end
Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man. ~ John Dryden
36. Consequently, people find you hard to read
37. Your business face ensures no one tries to fuck with you
The word evil has been applied to it at least once.
38. You snatch victory from the jaws of defeat
39. You can pass for charismatic
It eventually wears down with your patience.
40. You obsessively admire and respect true intelligence
and search for elements of their method to incorporate into your own plans.
41. You are forthright in conceding your expertise
which can make you appear arrogant but if asked respectfully, you’re equally forthright in conceding knowledge gaps.
42. You demand respect for your expertise
Attempts to humiliate you by insisting you pass impromptu interrogation will result in abrupt humiliating and instructive traumatizing of the crude idiot.
43. How do you make an INTJ enemy?
INTJs can become ruthlessly Machiavellian when they feel their intellect is unappreciated, their loved ones are threatened or wronged.
44. You are a quick thinker and find slowing down for other’s benefit tedious
yet going through the motions make you appear mercurial and irritated.
45. There are times …
with irrational protocols…
with misinformed moralizers…
with politically-motivated scientism fans…
with magical thinkers…
and people who cannot see the consequences of their ideas
Their evidence-denying hypocrisy makes you shut down, cut them off and retreat somewhere you can recover from the contaminating force of their stupidity in peace. To an untrained eye, this makes you the bad guy.
46. People ask your advice constantly
47. The things you predict constantly come true
because they ignored you.
48. You treat these people with contempt forever after
49. Your mind is an endless source of entertainment
My mind to me a kingdom is;
Such present joys therein I find,
That it excels all other bliss
That earth affords or grows by kind:
Though much I want that most would have,
Yet still my mind forbids to crave. ~ Sir Edward Dyer
50. You have a slightly addictive personality
51. You have numerous creative outlets
At least one work is a parody.
52. Your close friends know to steer you away from bookshops
53. You believe rationality is the key to the universe
54. You perceive the world as a sequence of interlocking systems
each with its own delicious rules
and you devour details when calculating something specific
55. You are a natural-born optimizer
56. You’re on a quest to tinker with and transform the world
Been shifting around all the variables and yup, we should just make you Master of the Universe.
57. You pull off daring moves
58. You know Life is a game of strategy
and spoiler: even when you win, you die.
59. You give up blending
when you realize the people you’re emulating are equally clueless.
60. You perceive the profundity of the mundane
and can dredge the truth from completely contrary sources of information.
61. Your sense of fun seems bizarre to outsiders
62. You have apathy where offense usually is
Why waste the energy?
63. You apply your brains to lazy ends
64. When you like something you observe it
This may have disturbing consequences if you like a person.
65. You avoid deepening relationships without good reason
This concerns well-meaning non-INTJ friends.
66. Being in love terrifies you
You have more red flags than a bull tamer.
67. As does the merest prospect of emotional dependence
68. Your sensitive disposition is constantly on the lookout for rejection
Sincere flattery is greatly appreciated and repaid in kind with interest.
69. You become formal and polite when hurt in public
shrinking back into your mind’s sanctuary to tend your wounds.
You never let it show.
70. You go quiet and become hesitant when hurt in private
trying to deduce the superior course of reaction.
Your pride will stubbornly refuse to allow other proof of injury and redouble efforts to push away the offending person, never to be forgiven again.
71. When you trust someone, silence is golden
We don’t need to talk the entire time.
If you promise to keep a secret, you will take it to your grave.
72. Your closest friends have passed a list of secret tests
73. Your close friends = Friends who have seen you cry
74. Duty is something you sign up for or rebel against
There is no middle ground. Intensely devoted or intensely repulsed.
75. You resent being controlled above all else
76. You’re overjoyed to find precise answers
77. When INTJs find a perfect solution
78. You relish having the last word or lasting impression
79. You’re difficult to impress
It surprises you when it happens.
80. You enjoyed the INTJ-indulgent length of this list
You have the strong temptation to fact-check/correct
I don’t mind.