The Labour party faithful are slowly smashing their heads against the wall thanks to incessant text messages and emails from leadership candidates.
Thanks, Labour. The constant emails and texts are doing a great job of making me want to keep supporting you. EMOJI.
Labour is recovering from its defeat by holding internal elections for leader, deputy leader, candidate for mayor of London, and seemingly every other position all the way down to chief photocopying official. Candidates for these positions have been given some access to the personal email addresses and mobile phone numbers of members, enabling them to lobby the Labour electorate for support.
This has inadvertently created a nonstop torrent of spam text messages and emails to already demoralised party members who never really wanted to have a dozen messages from candidates they've never heard of before.
I currently get more texts from prospective labour leader (& deputy) candidates than friends. 😔
It's causing existential despair for some new members, who are responding by cancelling their memberships in a desperate attempt to avoid being texted repeatedly at bedtime with promises of hot new David Lammy videos.
Unsolicited text messages from minor Labour Party figures at 9.45 in the evening – part 421 of an ongoing series
It has at least given rise to the trend of screengrabbing snarky responses to leadership candidate you dislike.
Had a text from Jeremy Corbyn today...
Everyone in politics says you should try to give a straight answer to a straight question.
Some Labour members are using the automated texts as part of a desperate search for personal connection in a lonely world.
Worst of all is when people feel their phone buzz and sneakily check it at work and the message is not even grammatically correct.
Just got a text from Tom Watson in which he gets "you're" & "your" mixed up. Sort out your syntax, then Labour! No, wait - Labour first.
Some people say their inbox now only consists of Labour-related emails.
Other party members are averaging three emails every 40 minutes from Labour candidates.
Only 3 emails from Labour tonight... More of a spam-lite day today
That gives an average inbox speed of 4.5 Le/ph (Labour emails per hour), which, if kept up for a solid 24-hour period, would see this lucky person receive 108 emails from Labour candidates.
Basically all this engagement is doing is training Labour party members in the use of their spam and trash folders.
.@UKLabour 16 emails in 3 days. This isn't even all of them. Where do I surrender?
As a result, some people recommend you invest in new email filing software before joining the party.
@jimwaterson I went on holiday for a week and the number of Labour emails was almost on par with my work inbox when I came back.
Essentially, if you sign up to be a Labour party member you will never achieve the goal of inbox zero.
@jimwaterson My spam box is split 50:50 with one from labour for every other spam message be itcasino, dating etc. So much spam now
In an innovative move, some Labour candidates are trying to spread the spam burden by spamming their members to encourage them to *pass on* their spam to Conservative politicians.
Spam from a wannabe Labour mayoral candidate asking me to spam a Tory mayoral candidate. When will it end?
Things became particularly weird when June Sarpong, who's currently appearing on ITV's Loose Women, started popping up on people's phones asking them to watch David Lammy videos.
These Labour Party texts are getting weirder.
The scene: your mother has been admitted to hospital. Life or death. Beep! You receive a text. It’s from June Sarpong on behalf of Labour.
One Labour supporter told BuzzFeed News the barrage of texts is causing concern among older supporters.
"I was out for a drink with my dad the other week," they said, "and he looked up from his phone and said, 'Who is June Sarpong?'
"I said, 'She was a TV presenter 10 years ago, Dad.'
"And he asked, 'Why is she texting me?'"
People are desperate, trying absolutely anything to escape the vortex of TV stars pushing Labour candidates on their personal phone numbers.
Why is June Sarpong spamming me?
They are now just happy when anything other than a Labour leadership email arrives on their phone.
considering I get so much spam from the labour leadership it is a nice surprise to be invited to a Little Mix gig by ticketmaster.
And the lead singer of Everything But the Girl is missing Labour emails like the deserts miss the rain.
Laughing at my spam filter's selective take on Labour emails. Blocked: Jeremy Corbyn, Yvette Copper. Through: Diane Abbott, Nancy Dell'Olio.
The spam has now reached a peak with sometime reality TV star Nancy Dell'Olio emailing members with emoji-laden offers to take part in a Strictly Come Dancing-style competition with Labour MP Ben Bradshaw.
New levels of spam from Labour – an email from Nancy Dell'olio 😶 Just why
Email from Nancy delollio endorsing Ben Bradshaw. Labour, this has to stop.
"Is everyone at Labour HQ on glue??"
Is everyone at Labour HQ on glue??
Basically, we are now at the point where Labour is largely a front for marketing companies.
Email from Nancy Dell'Ollio inviting me for drinks + dancing @UKLabour Feel like I have entered an episode of 'Thick of it' by David Lynch